英文原文
Transform the Way You Eat: Step Into Your Adult Ego State | Peaceful Eating
Written by Vania Phitidis Peaceful Eating Coach Last updated on 21 October 2024
Reading time: 4 minutes
Examining our eating behaviours through the framework of Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis theory provides many insights into how our Parent, Adult, and Child ego states shape our eating habits and attitudes towards food.
By understanding the impact of each ego state on our relationship with food, we can gain greater self-awareness and develop strategies to relate to food and eating in ways that serve us better.
My last two blog posts looked at your relationship with food through the lens of the Transactional Analysis model of the Parent and Child ego states. To tie it all together in this blog, we’ll look at the Adult ego state, and specifically how to step into the Adult state – because this state will be the most helpful in resolving your difficulties with food and eating.
Let’s begin with a reminder of this diagram, which illustrates the basics of Bern’s Transactional Analysis Theory.
The Adult Ego State
This is the part of you that is based in the present. The Parent and Child states are rooted in the past, as discussed in the last two posts (which you can read again here and here.) In the Adult state, you observe what is currently occurring: your thoughts and your feelings; and you’re aware of the facts too. Notice when you read these examples from the Adult ego state, what tone of voice you can detect:
* I can eat anything I want (this is a fact, provided it’s available to you), * I can eat whenever I want to (this is a fact, provided it’s available), * I know I’m not hungry/ I know I am hungry, * I’m feeling angry about that incident with Alison yesterday, * I’m also feeling very tired,
What tone of voice did you pick up? Calm, detached (but not unkind)? That’s the voice of the Adult.
The Adult also likes to ask questions:
* How hungry am I actually?, * What do I feel like eating?, * Am I meal hungry or snack hungry?, * Why do I want to eat? I know I’m not hungry,
The Adult can also come up with solutions that really do solve the problem:
* I’m going to give Alison a call and talk openly and kindly about what happened yesterday, * A chicken salad wrap will really feel good in my body right now – and will be very satisfying, * I’ll complete with one of those divine chocolate truffles, Trish gave me – if I feel like it afterwards, * I’m going to have a 15 minute nap before I get on with the afternoon tasks,
Stepping into your Adult ego state
I’m sure you can see that the Adult state is the most reasonable, considered and mature state to be in – and my opinion is, it’s generally the most helpful state when it comes to making decisions about what, when and how much to eat. But how to get there when your Rebellious Child is tantruming because your Critical Parent is telling her she can’t have a chocolate brownie for breakfast?
This is where a practice of mindfulness is so helpful! When you practice mindfulness, you become the Observer, the Witness of your own experience. This is the space that your Adult occupies too. The Observer and the Adult notice what is happening in the present moment, without judgement. By having a dedicated practice of mindful awareness, you will more readily be able to step into that. It’s a place you’ll recognise through your practice.
How the Nurturing Parent and Free Child can also help
You may remember from my posts on the Parent and Child state that they aren’t all negative.
The Parent has the Nurturer side to her:
* She reminds you of your inherent value, * She speaks kindly to you, * She reminds you you’re doing just fine, * She forgives you, * She tells you you’re enough as you are, * And she can also help you to set some healthy boundaries. Boundaries are essential to becoming peaceful with food. You need boundaries for yourself, and you also need them with others.,
The Free Child is creative, inquisitive and playful.
* She’s curious about new tastes, * She likes to experiment in the kitchen, * She lets you have fun with food!,
As soon as you notice yourself in the Critical Parent or Adapted Child state, that means you’re already moving into the Observer. Just take a few breaths at this point and listen in to the voice in your head. Perhaps you can now gently move into the Adult state, being calm and detached. This is the state from which the most empowered eating decisions come, I believe.
中文翻译
改变你的饮食方式：进入成人自我状态 | 和平饮食
作者：Vania Phitidis 和平饮食教练 最后更新于2024年10月21日
阅读时间：4分钟
通过埃里克·伯恩的沟通分析理论框架审视我们的饮食行为，可以深入了解我们的父母、成人和儿童自我状态如何塑造我们的饮食习惯和对食物的态度。
通过理解每个自我状态对我们与食物关系的影响，我们可以获得更大的自我意识，并制定策略，以更好地服务于我们的方式与食物和饮食建立联系。
我的前两篇博客文章通过沟通分析模型中的父母和儿童自我状态的视角，探讨了你与食物的关系。为了在这篇博客中将所有内容联系起来，我们将探讨成人自我状态，特别是如何进入成人状态——因为这种状态在解决你与食物和饮食方面的困难时最为有益。
让我们先回顾一下这张图，它说明了伯恩沟通分析理论的基础。
成人自我状态
这是你基于当下的部分。父母和儿童状态根植于过去，正如前两篇文章所讨论的（你可以在这里和这里再次阅读）。在成人状态中，你观察当前正在发生的事情：你的想法和感受；你也意识到事实。请注意，当你阅读这些来自成人自我状态的例子时，你能察觉到什么样的语气：
* 我可以吃任何我想吃的东西（这是一个事实，前提是它对你可用），* 我可以在任何时候想吃就吃（这是一个事实，前提是它可用），* 我知道我不饿/我知道我饿了，* 我对昨天与艾莉森的那件事感到生气，* 我也感到非常疲惫，
你捕捉到了什么样的语气？平静、超然（但不冷酷）？那就是成人的声音。
成人也喜欢提问：
* 我到底有多饿？，* 我想吃什么？，* 我是正餐饿还是零食饿？，* 我为什么想吃？我知道我不饿，
成人也能提出真正解决问题的方案：
* 我要给艾莉森打个电话，公开而友好地谈谈昨天发生的事情，* 现在吃一个鸡肉沙拉卷会让我的身体感觉很好——而且会非常满足，* 我会以特丽什给我的那些美味的巧克力松露结束——如果我之后想吃的话，* 我要在下午任务开始前小睡15分钟，
进入你的成人自我状态
我相信你能看到，成人状态是最理性、最深思熟虑和最成熟的状态——我的观点是，在决定吃什么、何时吃以及吃多少时，它通常是最有帮助的状态。但是，当你的叛逆儿童因为你的批判父母告诉她早餐不能吃巧克力布朗尼而发脾气时，你如何达到这种状态呢？
这就是正念练习如此有帮助的地方！当你练习正念时，你成为自己经验的观察者、见证者。这也是你的成人所占据的空间。观察者和成人注意到当下正在发生的事情，不加评判。通过专门的觉知练习，你将更容易进入那种状态。这是一个通过练习你会认识的地方。
养育父母和自由儿童如何也能帮助
你可能记得，从我关于父母和儿童状态的文章中，它们并不全是负面的。
父母有养育的一面：
* 她提醒你固有的价值，* 她对你说话友善，* 她提醒你做得很好，* 她原谅你，* 她告诉你，你本来的样子就足够了，* 她也能帮助你设定一些健康的界限。界限对于与食物和平相处至关重要。你需要为自己设定界限，也需要与他人设定界限。
自由儿童是富有创造力、好奇心和爱玩的。
* 她对新口味感到好奇，* 她喜欢在厨房里实验，* 她让你享受食物的乐趣！
一旦你注意到自己处于批判父母或适应儿童状态，那意味着你已经进入观察者状态。此时只需深呼吸几次，倾听你脑海中的声音。也许你现在可以温和地进入成人状态，保持平静和超然。我相信，这是最能赋予力量的饮食决策来源的状态。
文章概要
本文基于沟通分析心理学理论，探讨了成人自我状态在饮食决策中的关键作用。文章指出，通过进入成人自我状态，个体可以基于当下事实和理性观察，做出更健康的饮食选择，从而改善与食物的关系。作者强调了正念练习在促进成人状态进入中的重要性，并提及养育父母和自由儿童的积极角色，以支持整体饮食平衡。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容
这篇文章就像在教我们怎么用“大人模式”来吃饭。想象一下，你脑子里有三个小人：一个是像爸妈一样总说“不能吃这个”的“父母小人”，一个是像小孩一样闹着要吃糖的“儿童小人”，还有一个是冷静的“成人小人”。文章说，当我们吃饭时，如果让“成人小人”来当家，它不会乱发脾气，也不会乱下命令，而是会好好问自己：“我现在真的饿吗？我想吃什么对身体好？”这样，我们就能做出更聪明的吃饭选择，比如选个鸡肉沙拉而不是乱吃零食。练习“专心注意现在”的方法，比如深呼吸，能帮我们更容易找到这个“成人小人”，让它来帮忙决定吃什么。
TA沟通分析心理学理论评价
从沟通分析心理学理论来看，这篇文章精准地应用了埃里克·伯恩的自我状态模型，将饮食行为与父母、成人、儿童自我状态动态联系起来。文章突出了成人自我状态在饮食决策中的核心功能，即基于当下事实、理性观察和非评判性意识，这体现了沟通分析中成人状态作为“计算机”角色的特点，处理信息并做出适应现实的决策。作者通过具体例子，如“我知道我饿了”或“我要吃鸡肉沙拉卷”，展示了成人状态如何促进自主和健康的饮食行为，这与沟通分析理论中强调自我状态整合以达成“我好-你好”的生活立场相一致。文章还巧妙地将正念练习与成人状态关联，强化了沟通分析中“觉察”作为改变关键的概念，支持个体从脚本驱动转向自主决策。
在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题
在实践上，这篇文章的应用领域主要涵盖饮食心理学、健康促进和情绪调节。基于沟通分析心理学理论，它可以解决人们的以下十个问题：1. 帮助个体识别并减少批判父母自我状态导致的饮食限制和罪恶感；2. 支持管理叛逆儿童自我状态引发的情绪化进食或暴饮暴食；3. 通过进入成人自我状态，改善正餐准备中的理性决策，如选择营养均衡的食物；4. 增强对饥饿和饱足信号的觉察，减少无意识进食；5. 促进与食物的和平关系，减轻饮食焦虑和身体羞耻；6. 利用养育父母自我状态建立健康的饮食界限和自我关怀；7. 借助自由儿童自我状态增加饮食乐趣和烹饪创意；8. 应用正念练习提升进餐时的当下专注，减少分心进食；9. 支持从节食循环中解脱，培养可持续的饮食习惯；10. 增强整体自我意识，在社交饮食场景中保持自主选择。