英文原文
Adult ego state strengthening – Post 4
The final part of this composition on strengthening the Adult ego state seeks a different path. The previous three parts are examining behavioural strategies to assist a person to increase their Adult ego state functioning when under stress. This section will look at some of the underlying causes that may lead to poor Adult ego state function.
Modelling. All children model on their parents. If the parents display defective Adult then children will model that to varying degrees. If the child has a particularly strong attachment to a parent who has poor Adult then the modelling can be quite strong and the child will pick up the same traits. This on its own is usually not that hard to treat as it involves simply adding to their Parent ego state tapes. The establishment of that tape may take some time but it is a natural and instinctive process to introject others into our Parent ego state.
As this diagram shows the Parent ego state is merely a collection of tapes that have been modelled from various parent type figures. In adulthood it is continually being added to and one can seek out those who seem to have strong Adult function and model off them. Thus creating a new tape that has modelling for a well functioning Adult ego state.
Exercises can be done where the counsellor assists the person to identify their main Parent ego state tapes and draws them as in the diagram above. This allows the person to be aware and then start to make choices about which ones to listen to and which ones to turn the volume down. Which one to practice and so forth. The more they are practised the more robust that tape will become.
Injunctions. Sometimes parents for their own unconscious reasons will send a “Don’t think” message to a child. This type of message to the child can be particularly powerful if combined with consistent modelling.
Historically this has occurred in the sex role scripting of children. Boys were told they were practical problem solvers who would think problems through. Girls were told. “Not to worry their little heads about such things” and they didn’t really need an education because they were going to become just mothers and home makers. They did not need strong logical problem solving skills when the men could do it for them. Hence the woman ended up not being able to change the tire on a car or drill a hole into the wall to hang a picture.
Thus we ended up with a way of influencing the dynamics of the relationship between men and women particularly in relation to the power structure. This is why in the women’s liberation movement of the 1960s, women becoming more educated became a central aspect of that societal change. Those with strong Adult functioning are going to be the ones who are in charge in relationships and politically powerful.
If mother or father have such power issues of their own then they can script a child to be a certain way in relation to their Adult ego state strength. If mother thinks that women should be dependent on men then she may deliver such a “Don’t think” message to her daughter and the girl’s Adult ego state functioning will suffer.
In other cases a father may be insecure in himself and thus becomes competitive with his son. The father’s own Child ego state may be scared that his son will become more successful than he is and thus he can also unconsciously tell the son, “Don’t think” in a whole variety of ways.
An example of this is stroking patterns. One can ask the question, “Did my parents give me positive strokes for good thinking and problem solving? Did they give me negative strokes for thinking or did they give no strokes at all?” This is illustrated in two main ways.
How highly did the parents value education? Was it important for their children to get a good education and go as far as they can or was education derided or simply ignored.
Second, when the child showed mother and father their report card how did the parents respond? If the child got a high mark what was the attitude and comments – were there positive strokes, negative strokes or no strokes at all? Similarly what was the stroking pattern the child received when he got a low mark on his report card. As a rule of thumb parents should direct 70% to 80% of their attention (positive stokes) to the child’s successes on a report card. 20% to 30% of parental attention needs to address the academic difficulties a child is having such as why and what can be done. This should include no positive stokes but only Adult problem solving between the child and parent.
Finally some parents in their parenting style will put down the child or vent their anger at the child by denigrating it. This can occur in many areas such as the child’s physical appearance, its sporting prowess, its social skills, musical ability and so forth. It can also be at its academic ability or thinking ability. Some parents will directly tell a child that it is stupid or a moron. A boy who is trying to repair his push bike may be simply pushed aside by father who indicates that he is obviously too stupid to be able to make such repairs and does it himself.
Another way the Adult ego state can underdeveloped is due to what has historically been called maternal over protection. In Transactional Analysis terms the mother (or father) does not allow the child develop out of the symbiosis it formed at a very young age with mother. A new born has no Parent or Adult ego states and thus it has to form a symbiosis with mother and ‘use’ hers until it develops its own.
In some cases the mother or father will not permit the youngster to develop their own Parent and Adult ego states. They can do this in a variety of ways.
1. Restriction of the child’s social world. The child is encouraged not to develop friends and out of family contacts. The child may be kept from going to school because he often gets ‘sick’. Indeed when a child develops a school phobia (and refuses to go to school) often that is due to emotional manoeuvring by the mother in the back ground who does not want the child to go.
2. Excessive contact. This can be continuous companionship of mother and child, prolonged nursing care, excessive fondling, prolonged breast feeding, sleeping with mother long past infancy. Highlighting of a special connection or relationship between child and parent. This can even be mildly romanticised and thus one has the development of the oedipus complex and the electra complex.
3. Infantilization. The parent treats the child in the same manner it would a much younger child. This can be in feeding, dressing, bathing, washing, punishing. The mother may dress a 13 year old son or punish him by putting him to bed in the afternoon.
4. Maternal control. This can manifest as either overdomination or overindulgence of the child by mother. In later life parents can use money to exert maternal control over a teenager or young adult.
All of these pressure the child to stay childlike and not develop a competent Adult ego state. If a child cannot think for itself then it has to continue to rely on mother to think for it. Thus we have another reason why as an adult a person may find it difficult to stay in their Adult ego state and require Adult ego state strengthening exercises.
中文翻译
成人自我状态强化——第四部分
这篇关于强化成人自我状态的文章的最后一部分寻求一条不同的路径。前三部分探讨了行为策略，以帮助人们在压力下提高成人自我状态的功能。本节将探讨可能导致成人自我状态功能不佳的一些根本原因。
模仿。所有孩子都会模仿父母。如果父母表现出有缺陷的成人自我状态，孩子会在不同程度上模仿。如果孩子特别依恋一个成人自我状态较差的父母，模仿可能会非常强烈，孩子会习得相同的特质。这本身通常不难治疗，因为它只是简单地增加他们的父母自我状态磁带。建立这个磁带可能需要一些时间，但将他人内化到我们的父母自我状态中是一个自然和本能的过程。
如图所示，父母自我状态仅仅是从各种父母形象中模仿而来的磁带集合。在成年期，它不断被添加，人们可以寻找那些似乎有强大成人自我状态功能的人并模仿他们。从而创建一个新的磁带，其中包含对功能良好的成人自我状态的模仿。
可以进行练习，咨询师帮助人们识别他们主要的父母自我状态磁带，并如上图所示绘制它们。这使人们能够意识到，然后开始选择听哪些磁带，调低哪些磁带的音量。练习哪一个等等。练习得越多，那个磁带就会变得越强大。
禁令。有时父母出于自己无意识的原因会向孩子发送“不要思考”的信息。如果结合一致的模仿，这种信息对孩子可能特别强大。
历史上，这发生在儿童的性别角色脚本中。男孩被告知他们是实际的解决问题者，会思考问题。女孩被告知“不要为这些事情担心她们的小脑袋”，她们并不真正需要教育，因为她们只会成为母亲和家庭主妇。当男人可以为她们做时，她们不需要强大的逻辑问题解决技能。因此，女性最终无法更换汽车轮胎或在墙上钻孔挂画。
因此，我们最终影响了男女关系的动态，特别是在权力结构方面。这就是为什么在1960年代的妇女解放运动中，女性接受更多教育成为社会变革的核心方面。那些具有强大成人自我状态功能的人将成为关系中负责和政治上有权力的人。
如果母亲或父亲自己有这种权力问题，他们可以脚本化孩子，使其在成人自我状态强度方面以某种方式表现。如果母亲认为女性应该依赖男性，那么她可能会向女儿传递这样的“不要思考”信息，女孩的成人自我状态功能将受到影响。
在其他情况下，父亲可能自己缺乏安全感，因此与儿子竞争。父亲自己的儿童自我状态可能害怕儿子会比他更成功，因此他也可以无意识地以各种方式告诉儿子“不要思考”。
一个例子是抚摸模式。人们可以问“我的父母是否因为良好的思考和问题解决而给我积极的抚摸？他们是否因为思考而给我消极的抚摸，或者根本没有给我任何抚摸？”这主要通过两种方式说明。
父母对教育的重视程度如何？让孩子接受良好教育并尽可能走远是否重要，还是教育被嘲笑或完全忽视。
第二，当孩子向父母展示成绩单时，父母如何回应？如果孩子得了高分，态度和评论是什么——是否有积极的抚摸、消极的抚摸或根本没有抚摸？同样，当孩子在成绩单上得了低分时，他收到的抚摸模式是什么。作为经验法则，父母应将70%到80%的注意力（积极的抚摸）指向孩子在成绩单上的成功。20%到30%的父母注意力需要解决孩子遇到的学业困难，例如原因和可以做什么。这不应包括积极的抚摸，而只包括孩子和父母之间的成人问题解决。
最后，一些父母在育儿风格中会贬低孩子或通过诋毁孩子来发泄愤怒。这可能发生在许多领域，如孩子的外貌、运动能力、社交技能、音乐能力等。也可能是在学业能力或思考能力方面。一些父母会直接告诉孩子他愚蠢或白痴。一个试图修理自行车的男孩可能被父亲推开，父亲表示他显然太愚蠢，无法进行这样的修理，然后自己动手。
成人自我状态发展不足的另一种方式是由于历史上被称为母亲过度保护的原因。在沟通分析术语中，母亲（或父亲）不允许孩子脱离在很小年龄时与母亲形成的共生关系。新生儿没有父母或成人自我状态，因此它必须与母亲形成共生关系，并“使用”她的自我状态，直到发展出自己的。
在某些情况下，母亲或父亲不允许年轻人发展自己的父母和成人自我状态。他们可以通过多种方式做到这一点。
1. 限制孩子的社交世界。鼓励孩子不要发展朋友和家庭外的联系。孩子可能被阻止上学，因为他经常“生病”。确实，当孩子发展出学校恐惧症（并拒绝上学）时，通常是由于母亲在背景中的情感操纵，她不想让孩子去。
2. 过度接触。这可以是母亲和孩子的持续陪伴、延长护理、过度爱抚、延长母乳喂养、与母亲睡觉超过婴儿期。强调孩子和父母之间的特殊联系或关系。这甚至可以轻微浪漫化，从而发展出俄狄浦斯情结和厄勒克特拉情结。
3. 婴儿化。父母以对待更年幼孩子的方式对待孩子。这可能是在喂养、穿衣、洗澡、洗涤、惩罚方面。母亲可能给13岁的儿子穿衣，或通过下午让他上床睡觉来惩罚他。
4. 母亲控制。这可能表现为母亲对孩子的过度支配或过度溺爱。在以后的生活中，父母可以用钱对青少年或年轻成人施加母亲控制。
所有这些都迫使孩子保持孩子气，不发展出有能力的成人自我状态。如果孩子不能为自己思考，那么它必须继续依赖母亲为其思考。因此，我们有另一个原因，为什么作为成年人，一个人可能发现难以保持在其成人自我状态中，并需要成人自我状态强化练习。
文章概要
本文探讨了成人自我状态功能不佳的根本原因，包括模仿父母缺陷、父母发送“不要思考”禁令、抚摸模式不当以及母亲过度保护等因素。文章以汽车维护为例，说明这些因素如何影响个体在成人自我状态下的问题解决能力，如更换轮胎等任务。通过沟通分析心理学理论，文章分析了这些早期经历如何塑造成人自我状态，并强调了强化成人自我状态的重要性。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容
这篇文章就像在说，我们长大后会怎么思考问题，比如修自行车或者换汽车轮胎。小时候，我们会学爸爸妈妈的样子，如果他们不擅长解决问题，我们可能也学不会。有时候，爸爸妈妈会无意中说“别想太多”，让我们不敢自己动脑筋。还有，如果我们做得好，他们多夸夸我们，我们就会更自信；如果做得不好，他们帮我们一起想办法，而不是骂我们，这样我们才能学会自己解决问题。如果爸爸妈妈保护得太好，不让我们自己尝试，我们就像长不大的小孩，不会自己思考。所以，长大以后，有些人可能连换轮胎都不会，就是因为小时候没练好“大人思考模式”。
TA沟通分析心理学理论评价
从沟通分析心理学理论来看，本文深入探讨了成人自我状态发展不足的根源，完美契合了伯恩的自我状态模型。文章通过模仿、禁令、抚摸模式和共生关系等核心概念，系统分析了早期亲子互动如何影响成人自我状态的强度。模仿机制解释了孩子如何内化父母的成人自我状态缺陷，形成父母自我状态磁带，这体现了沟通分析中内化过程的动态性。禁令概念揭示了父母无意识传递的“不要思考”信息如何削弱孩子的成人自我状态功能，特别是在性别角色脚本中，这与沟通分析的脚本理论紧密相连。抚摸模式的分析展示了积极和消极抚摸如何塑造孩子的思考能力，强调了沟通分析中抚摸作为基本需求的重要性。母亲过度保护部分则触及了共生关系的概念，说明父母如何阻碍孩子发展独立的成人自我状态，这反映了沟通分析中脱离共生的治疗目标。整体而言，文章以汽车维护为例，生动说明了成人自我状态在实践中的体现，强化了沟通分析理论的应用价值。
在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题
在实践上，本文内容可应用于心理咨询、家庭教育、职场培训和个人成长等领域。基于沟通分析心理学理论，它可以解决人们的以下十个问题：1. 提升个体在压力下的理性决策能力，如在汽车故障时冷静处理。2. 帮助父母改善育儿方式，避免传递“不要思考”禁令。3. 增强个人的问题解决技能，如学习汽车维护等实际任务。4. 促进性别平等，打破传统性别角色对成人自我状态的限制。5. 改善亲子沟通，通过积极抚摸模式培养孩子的自信。6. 支持成年人克服童年模仿缺陷，强化成人自我状态。7. 帮助个体识别和调整父母自我状态磁带，选择更健康的思维模式。8. 减少母亲过度保护的影响，促进独立思考和行动。9. 提升在关系中的权力平衡，通过强大成人自我状态增强自主性。10. 辅助心理咨询师设计成人自我状态强化练习，如角色扮演或认知重构。