英文原文
I am currently preparing to work on a client project that uses transaction analysis (TA). My client uses it as a practical tool to help their people engage better. I am not new to TA, but it has been a while since I have used it in as much depth as my client does. As I re-immersed myself in TA, I realised what a useful tool it is and one that we all could benefit from. Transactional analysis is a psychoanalytical theory developed by Eric Berne in the 1950s. Transactions refer to the communication exchanges between people. It is an intellectual tool that helps us understand the basis of behaviour or feeling in communication and allows us to examine it and choose the way we want to respond. The communication typically consists of a stimulus by one person (the sender) and a response by another (the receiver). This in turn becomes a new stimulus for the sender to respond to. TA recognised that the human personality is made up of three ego states: the parent, the adult, and the child. Each of which is an entire and consistent system of thought, feeling, and behaviour from which we interact with each other. The Parent, Adult, and Child ego states and the interaction between them form the foundation of transactional analysis theory. The three states exist in all of us. They are recordings in the brain of actual experiences of internal and external events – with the first five years of life signifying the most important years. The Parent This is everything we learned from our parents in our first five years of life. It is the thoughts, feelings, and behaviours we ‘borrowed’ from our parents or caregivers. Some of the ‘how tos’ that we practice today form our parent data. The parent ego state can be further divided into 2 functions: the nurturing parent and critical parent. The nurturing is soft, loving and permission-giving. Whilst the critical parent holds our dos and don’ts. The rules for living, feeling, behaving, and believing from our parents. As you can imagine, some of the messages we hold in the parent ego state can be helpful whilst other messages not. (Note: you don’t have to be a parent to use the parent ego state) The Child If the parent ego state is represented by the recordings of data of external events, there is another set of recordings happening simultaneously. This is the internal events, the responses of the child to what we hear and see. In early life, the child has no vocabulary, most of their reactions are feelings. So, when a person is in a grip of feelings, the child ego state takes over. All our thoughts and emotions from our childhood days form our present-day memories and experiences. Our childlike ways can appear later in life. Bringing the same childhood feelings today that we felt back then. The child ego state can be divided into 2 parts: the free child and adapted child. The free child experiences the world spontaneously and directly. The adapted child is part of our personality that has learned to comply with our parental messages we received growing up. The Adult The adult ego state is our data processing centre. It is the part of our personality that can process data accurately using our senses and thinking. Problem-solving is based on the facts and not solely on preconceived thoughts and ideas or childlike emotions. The adult ego state data is accumulated from the child’s ability to discern the difference between the taught (parent), felt (child) concepts of life. The adult concept develops through thought based on data gathered and processed. The principal role of the adult ego state consists of validating or invalidating old data, discerning new data, and refiling it for future use. A basic parent-child transaction So, how do we know which ego state we are using in our transactions? There are several ways to tell which ego state we or someone else is using. Usually through the tone of voice, choice of words, emotional state, or way of being, body posture, and gestures. If soft and soothing, the sender is probably in a nurturing parent ego state. If the tone is harsh, disapproving or threatening, then the sender is probably in a critical parent ego state. An even, controlled and clear tone of voice usually implies the adult ego state. A free child tends to have an emotion-laden tone of voice. And the adapted child may either whine or conform, behaving as what is expected of them. Similarly, gestures, choice of words, body posture can signify which state we are using. The Parent typically warns or wags their finger with stern facial expressions – seeking to be understood. The Adult has more thoughtful expressions, often nods their head in agreement with contemplative facial expressions – seeking to understand. The child is more expressive both physically and emotionally. Typically, one of excitement with more noticeable gestures – seeking. I will stop here this week. Next week I shall continue with analysing transactions and where dissonance can occur and how to navigate it. Until then, I invite you to analyse your daily transactions to discern your ego states. Is there an ego state that you use more? As always, you can reach me at yoga@yoganesadurai.com
中文翻译
我目前正在准备一个使用沟通分析（TA）的客户项目。我的客户将其作为实用工具，帮助员工更好地参与。我对TA并不陌生，但像客户这样深入使用已有一段时间。当我重新沉浸于TA时，我意识到它是一个多么有用的工具，我们所有人都能从中受益。沟通分析是由埃里克·伯恩在20世纪50年代发展起来的精神分析理论。交易指的是人与人之间的沟通交流。它是一个智力工具，帮助我们理解沟通中行为或感受的基础，并允许我们检查它并选择我们想要回应的方式。沟通通常由一个人（发送者）的刺激和另一个人（接收者）的回应组成。这反过来又成为发送者回应的新刺激。TA认识到人类人格由三种自我状态组成：父母、成人和儿童。每一种都是一个完整且一致的思想、感受和行为系统，我们通过它们相互互动。父母、成人和儿童自我状态以及它们之间的互动构成了沟通分析理论的基础。这三种状态存在于我们所有人中。它们是我们大脑中实际经历的内外部事件的记录——生命的前五年是最重要的年份。父母自我状态这是我们生命前五年从父母那里学到的一切。它是我们从父母或照顾者那里“借用”的思想、感受和行为。我们今天实践的一些“如何做”形成了我们的父母数据。父母自我状态可以进一步分为两种功能：养育型父母和批评型父母。养育型是温柔、充满爱意和给予许可的。而批评型父母则持有我们的“应该”和“不应该”。来自父母的生活、感受、行为和信仰的规则。正如你所想象的，我们在父母自我状态中持有的一些信息可能是有帮助的，而其他信息则不然。（注意：你不必是父母才能使用父母自我状态）儿童自我状态如果父母自我状态由外部事件数据的记录代表，那么同时还有另一组记录正在发生。这是内部事件，儿童对我们听到和看到的事物的反应。在早期生活中，儿童没有词汇，他们的大部分反应是感受。因此，当一个人被感受控制时，儿童自我状态就会接管。我们童年时期的所有思想和情感形成了我们现在的记忆和经历。我们孩子气的方式可能在以后的生活中出现。将我们当时感受到的相同童年感受带到今天。儿童自我状态可以分为两部分：自由儿童和适应儿童。自由儿童自发而直接地体验世界。适应儿童是我们人格的一部分，它学会了遵守我们成长过程中收到的父母信息。成人自我状态成人自我状态是我们的数据处理中心。它是我们人格的一部分，可以使用我们的感官和思维准确处理数据。解决问题基于事实，而不仅仅是基于先入为主的思想和观念或孩子气的情绪。成人自我状态数据是从儿童区分被教导（父母）和感受（儿童）生活概念的能力中积累的。成人概念通过基于收集和处理数据的思考发展。成人自我状态的主要作用包括验证或无效化旧数据、辨别新数据，并重新归档以供未来使用。一个基本的父母-儿童交易那么，我们如何知道我们在交易中使用哪种自我状态？有几种方法可以判断我们或他人正在使用哪种自我状态。通常通过语调、措辞选择、情绪状态、行为方式、身体姿势和手势。如果语调柔和舒缓，发送者可能处于养育型父母自我状态。如果语调严厉、不赞成或威胁，那么发送者可能处于批评型父母自我状态。平稳、控制和清晰的语调通常意味着成人自我状态。自由儿童往往带有情感丰富的语调。而适应儿童可能要么抱怨要么顺从，按照期望行事。同样，手势、措辞选择、身体姿势可以表明我们正在使用哪种状态。父母通常警告或摇动手指，表情严肃——寻求被理解。成人有更多深思熟虑的表情，经常点头同意，表情沉思——寻求理解。儿童在身体和情感上更富有表现力。通常是兴奋的，手势更明显——寻求。本周我将在这里停止。下周我将继续分析交易以及不和谐可能发生的地方以及如何应对。在此之前，我邀请你分析你的日常交易以辨别你的自我状态。你更常使用哪种自我状态？一如既往，你可以通过yoga@yoganesadurai.com联系我。
文章概要
本文基于沟通分析心理学理论，探讨了成人自我状态与父母自我状态在育儿中的差异。文章介绍了TA理论的核心概念，包括三种自我状态（父母、成人、儿童）的定义和功能，特别强调了父母自我状态分为养育型和批评型，以及成人自我状态作为数据处理中心的作用。通过分析语调、措辞和身体语言等线索，文章解释了如何识别不同自我状态在沟通中的表现，并指出在育儿实践中，成人自我状态能基于事实解决问题，而父母自我状态可能传递来自过去的规则或情感。文章鼓励读者反思日常互动，以更好地理解和应用这些自我状态，提升沟通效果。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容：想象一下，我们每个人心里都有三个小角色：一个是像爸爸妈妈那样说话的“父母角色”，它有时温柔得像抱抱你，有时严厉得像说“不行”；一个是像小朋友那样感受的“儿童角色”，它开心就笑，难过就哭，很直接；还有一个是像科学家那样思考的“成人角色”，它用事实和逻辑来解决问题，不随便发脾气。在育儿时，如果我们多用“成人角色”来冷静处理事情，而不是总用“父母角色”的命令或“儿童角色”的情绪，家庭会更和谐哦！
TA沟通分析心理学理论评价：本文精准阐述了沟通分析理论中自我状态的核心框架，特别是成人自我状态与父母自我状态的区分。成人自我状态作为理性处理中心，体现了TA理论中“自主性”和“现实导向”的原则，能有效促进健康沟通。父母自我状态则反映了早期内化的规则，其养育型和批评型功能展示了TA对人格结构的深入洞察。这种分析强化了TA在理解人际互动动态中的实用性，突出了自我状态切换对沟通质量的影响。
在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题：应用领域包括家庭教育、职场沟通、心理咨询、团队建设、冲突调解、个人成长、亲子关系、婚姻辅导、教育辅导和社交技能培训。可以解决的问题：1. 帮助家长减少情绪化育儿，用理性方式引导孩子；2. 改善夫妻沟通，避免批评型父母状态引发的争吵；3. 提升职场团队协作，通过成人状态处理分歧；4. 增强个人情绪管理能力，识别并调整儿童状态冲动；5. 促进亲子理解，用养育型父母状态表达关爱；6. 解决师生冲突，应用成人状态进行公正对话；7. 帮助个体克服童年阴影，重新评估父母状态信息；8. 优化客户服务沟通，使用成人状态提供专业支持；9. 支持心理咨询中的自我探索，澄清自我状态模式；10. 培养社交场合的适应性，灵活运用不同自我状态。