英文原文
Any meditator will tell you to be very cautious about putting the words “ego” and “mindfulness” in the same sentence, unless there’s a negation wedged between them! So it is with great caution that I proceed, acknowledging the spiritual contradiction of working to enhance ego strength while supporting and deepening a mindful spirit. What does it mean to have “ego strength”? It’s a tricky idea, in my opinion, because of rampant narcissism. To have a “strong ego” may imply that somehow my needs are more important than yours. We see this in many ways, some ridiculous (think the recent Kardashian wedding), some mind-boggling (think of athlete’s salaries), and some tragic (think “Penn State football”). But having a strong ego in the narcissistic sense is really a rather weak way to live. The narcissist can only see his/her own situation, has little if any perspective taking skills, and cannot form a true and meaningful relationship. What a way to suffer. Ego strength, on the other hand, refers to being resilient. The resilient person says “I can bend but I won’t break.” The brittle ego is rigid and snaps under pressure; the resilient ego is flexible and adjusts to the ebb and flow of demands. Resilience is a state (“I get it together again after a rough day”) and a trait (“I stay calm, cool, and collected even when things get really rough”). The resilient person bounces back with skill after losing equilibrium (i.e. goes easily from ego depletion to ego replenishment) AND, at times, does not lose equilibrium even in the face of great adversity (i.e. able to sustain ego strength). Here’s a video from ABC news that makes a great case for meditation as a way to build ego-resilience: ABC News Report on Meditation. I love the little boy in the video who says that his sister is screaming, mom is cussing, and he’s meditating! But what’s truly impressive is that with even a little practice, the meditative brain functions differently, in ways that strongly suggest that the mind comes to a state of comfort and ease more readily, even in difficult situations. I hope this series on ego-depletion, ego-replenishment, and ego-resilience has been helpful. I’ve enjoyed going back and reading this literature again, and have taken away several “lessons learned” for myself. First, I’m going to run out of “mental” gas sometimes; accept it, it’s natural. Second, if I can recognize when I’ve run out of gas AND accept it, then I can mindfully decide to “cease and desist” in further activity, and give my mind the rest that it needs. And if resting in that moment isn’t possible, at least I can be mindful in guarding against a total meltdown that might offend or hurt someone I love. Third, I know the antidotes: rest, nutrition, and fun. Fourth, I have a great tool to build up that “mental muscle” so that ego-depletion is minimized. Any activity that allows me to practice self-regulation, no matter how trivial, builds up my strength. Finally, my meditation practice gives me the insight to be aware, accepting, and able to act to replenish and strengthen. And the more I meditate the more my brain is readied to be aware and accepting. The spiritual paradox in this practice of mindful ego-strengthening is that with this resilience comes the realization that what I conceptualize as my “self” is very transient. There’s an abiding “sense of self” but the actual activity of a “self” comes and goes, and changes so easily. As I let go of clinging to this “self” I find something that lasts within, something that is hard to define, but is there through each moment. I don’t know what to call it. I suppose “sense of self” will have to do for now. Perhaps that “sense of self” is transient also; I don’t know. But there’s strength and peace in the realization that I don’t have to cling to an ego that demands that life conform to my perceived needs in this moment. This painful ego state has happened before and will happen again, but it’s not permanent. It has flowed; it will ebb. In that moment I can have clarity that my “sense of self” remains untouched; this painful ego state is not about “me,” whoever or whatever that is.
中文翻译
任何冥想者都会告诉你，要非常小心地将“自我”和“正念”这两个词放在同一个句子里，除非它们之间有一个否定词！因此，我以极大的谨慎进行，承认在增强自我力量的同时支持和深化正念精神的精神矛盾。拥有“自我力量”意味着什么？在我看来，这是一个棘手的概念，因为自恋泛滥。拥有“强大的自我”可能意味着我的需求比你的更重要。我们在许多方面看到这一点，有些荒谬（想想最近的卡戴珊婚礼），有些令人难以置信（想想运动员的薪水），有些悲惨（想想“宾州州立大学橄榄球”）。但从自恋意义上拥有强大的自我实际上是一种相当脆弱的生活方式。自恋者只能看到他/她自己的情况，几乎没有换位思考的能力，也无法形成真正有意义的关系。这是一种多么痛苦的活法。另一方面，自我力量指的是具有韧性。有韧性的人说“我可以弯曲，但不会折断”。脆弱的自我是僵硬的，在压力下会断裂；有韧性的自我是灵活的，能适应需求的起伏。韧性是一种状态（“在艰难的一天后我重新振作起来”）和一种特质（“即使事情变得非常艰难，我也保持冷静、镇定和沉着”）。有韧性的人在失去平衡后能熟练地恢复（即从自我耗竭轻松过渡到自我补充），并且有时即使面对巨大逆境也不会失去平衡（即能够维持自我力量）。这里有一个来自ABC新闻的视频，很好地论证了冥想作为建立自我韧性的方式：ABC新闻关于冥想的报道。我喜欢视频中的小男孩，他说他的姐姐在尖叫，妈妈在骂人，而他在冥想！但真正令人印象深刻的是，即使只有一点练习，冥想的大脑功能也会不同，强烈表明心灵更容易进入舒适和轻松的状态，即使在困难的情况下也是如此。我希望这个关于自我耗竭、自我补充和自我韧性的系列文章有所帮助。我很高兴重新阅读这些文献，并为自己总结了几点“经验教训”。首先，我有时会耗尽“精神”燃料；接受它，这是自然的。其次，如果我能认识到何时耗尽燃料并接受它，那么我可以正念地决定“停止和放弃”进一步的活动，让我的心灵得到所需的休息。如果那时无法休息，至少我可以正念地防止可能冒犯或伤害我所爱之人的彻底崩溃。第三，我知道解药：休息、营养和乐趣。第四，我有一个很好的工具来建立“精神肌肉”，从而最小化自我耗竭。任何让我练习自我调节的活动，无论多么微不足道，都能增强我的力量。最后，我的冥想练习让我有洞察力去觉察、接受并能够行动以补充和加强。我冥想得越多，我的大脑就越准备好去觉察和接受。在这种正念增强自我的实践中，精神悖论在于，随着这种韧性而来的是认识到我所概念化的“自我”是非常短暂的。有一种持久的“自我感”，但“自我”的实际活动来来去去，变化如此容易。当我放下对这个“自我”的执着时，我发现内心有某种持久的东西，难以定义，但每时每刻都存在。我不知道该叫它什么。我想“自我感”暂时可以。也许那个“自我感”也是短暂的；我不知道。但在认识到我不必执着于一个要求生活符合我此刻感知需求的自我时，有力量和和平。这种痛苦的自我状态以前发生过，以后还会发生，但它不是永久的。它流动过；它会消退。在那一刻，我可以清楚地知道我的“自我感”保持不变；这种痛苦的自我状态与“我”无关，无论“我”是谁或是什么。
文章概要
本文探讨了自我力量与正念的关系，区分了自恋的脆弱自我与有韧性的健康自我。作者通过ABC新闻视频和自身经验，说明冥想如何帮助建立自我韧性，促进从自我耗竭到自我补充的过渡。文章还分享了个人经验教训，如接受精神耗竭、正念决策和通过自我调节活动增强力量，并反思了自我感的短暂性和放下执着带来的和平。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容：这篇文章讲的是，当我们冥想时，我们的“自我”就像橡皮筋一样，可以拉长但不会断掉，这叫做有韧性。作者说，有时候我们会觉得累，就像汽车没油了，这时候我们需要休息、吃好、玩得开心来加油。通过冥想，我们可以学会在困难时保持冷静，不让自己崩溃，还能更好地理解自己。
TA沟通分析心理学理论评价：从沟通分析心理学角度看，本文强调了成人自我状态在冥想和放松技巧中的核心作用。作者描述的自我韧性反映了成人自我状态的适应性功能，即个体能够理性评估环境、调节情绪并做出建设性决策，而非陷入儿童自我状态的冲动或父母自我状态的批判。文章中的自我耗竭与补充过程，可视为成人自我状态资源的动态管理，通过正念练习增强其稳定性和弹性，促进自我状态的和谐整合。
在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题：在实践上，本文内容可应用于心理健康促进、压力管理培训、教育辅导、职场发展、家庭关系改善、个人成长工作坊、康复支持、社区服务、体育心理和艺术治疗等领域。可以解决人们的十个问题包括：1. 帮助人们在压力下保持冷静和专注；2. 减少因自我耗竭导致的情绪爆发；3. 增强应对逆境的心理韧性；4. 改善自我调节能力以提升决策质量；5. 促进正念习惯培养以支持日常功能；6. 缓解焦虑和抑郁症状；7. 提升人际关系中的沟通效果；8. 支持从创伤或挫折中恢复；9. 增强自我意识以更好地理解个人需求；10. 培养长期心理福祉和满足感。