英文原文
Transactional Analysis (or TA as it is often called) is an interpersonal relations approach developed during the 1960s by Dr Eric Berne. It is underpinned by the philosophy that: people can change; we all have a right to be in the world and be accepted. Transactional Analysis is based on two notions: That we have three sides or 'ego-states' to our 'personality (Parent, Adult and Child), and that these ego states converse with one another in 'transactions' both internally and externally with other people (hence the name). According to TA, we are dominated alternately and to varying degrees by one of the three sides of our personality. By studying the Ego States, the behaviour they incite, the games they lead to, and the scenarios they cause, Transactional Analysis helps us understand how we relate to others and gives us useful tools for self-knowledge and personal development. TA is a common model used in psychotherapy (personal, couple and family therapy), as well as in education and business (recruitment, skill assessments and understanding relationship dynamics). What follows in this article (Part I) is an outline of two of the key concepts in Transactional Analysis – Ego States and Transactions. Ego States: According to TA, we have three sides or 'ego-states' to our personality – the Parent, Adult and Child ego states. An ego state is a way of us experiencing the world. It is an entire system of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours from which we interact with one another (and even with ourselves in our internal conversations). Our thinking, feeling and behaviour when we are in each ego state is consistent. Please note that each ego state is given a capital letter to denote the difference between ego states and actual parents, adults and children. The ego states are drawn in diagrammatical form as follows: The Parent Ego State: This is a set of feelings, thinking and behaviour that we have copied from our parents and significant others. As we grow up we take in ideas, beliefs, feelings and behaviours from our parents and caretakers. (If we live in an extended family then there are more people to be influenced by and learn from). When we do this, it is called introjecting and it is just as if we take in the whole of the care giver. For example, we may notice that we are saying things just as our father, mother, grandmother may have done, even though, consciously, we don't want to. We do this because we have lived with this person for so long that we automatically reproduce certain things that were said to us, or treat others as we might have been treated by them. It’s as if someone has pressed 'play' on a recording and we play back what we saw and heard without question. The Parent ego state is rooted in the past. There are two types of parent we can play: The Nurturing Parent– This Parent type is caring and concerned and may often appear as a mother-figure (though men can play it too). They seek to keep the child contented, offering a safe haven and unconditional love to calm the Child's troubles. The Controlling (or Critical) Parent – This Parent type tries to make the Child do as the Parent wants them to do, perhaps transferring values or beliefs or helping the Child to understand and live in society. They may also have negative intent, using the Child as a scapegoat. The Adult Ego State: The Adult ego state is the 'grown up' rational person who talks reasonably and assertively, neither trying to control nor reacting aggressively towards others. The Adult is comfortable with him/herself and is, for many of us, our 'ideal self'. The Adult ego state deals with the here and now reality. It is the processing centre and important because it is the only ego state that is not connected to the past. The Adult ego state is able to deal with current things in ways that are not unhealthily influenced by our past. If you were asked how to make a paper airplane you would probably reply from your Adult ego state. The Adult ego state is about being spontaneous and aware, with a capacity for intimacy. The Adult is able to see people as they are, rather than what we project onto them. The Adult asks for information, rather than staying scared or making assumptions. In the structural model, the Adult ego state circle is placed in the middle of the Parent and Child ego states to show how it needs to orchestrate between these two. For example, the Parent may criticise the Child, saying "You are no good, look at what you did wrong again, you are useless". The Child may then respond with "I am no good, look how useless I am, I never get anything right". (Most people don’t hear their internal dialogue as it goes on so much they just believe life is this way). An effective Adult can intervene by stating that this kind of parenting is not helpful and asking if it is prepared to learn another way. Alternatively, the Adult can just stop any negative dialogue and decide to develop another positive Parent ego state perhaps taken in from other people they have met over the years. The Child Ego State: The Child ego state is rooted in the past and plays back thoughts, feelings and behaviours that we experienced as a child. For example, if the boss calls us into his or her office, we may immediately get a churning in our stomach and wonder what we have done wrong. If we explored the reason for this automatic thinking, we might remember the time the head teacher called us in to tell us off. In the same way, we might go into someone's house and smell a lovely smell and remember our grandmother's house when we were little, and all the same warm feelings we had as a six-year old may come flooding back. There are three types of Child we can play: The Natural Child – This child type is largely un-self-aware and is characterized by the non-speech noises they make (yippee, whoo-hoo etc.). They like playing and are open and vulnerable. The Little Professor – This child type is the curious and exploring Child who is always trying out new stuff (often much to their Controlling Parent's annoyance). Together with the Natural Child they make up the Free Child. The Adaptive Child – This child type reacts to the world around them, either changing themselves to fit in and so being very good, or rebelling against the forces they feel and so being naughty. Both the Parent and Child ego states are constantly being updated. For example, we may meet someone who gives us the permission we needed (but did not get) as a child, to be fun and joyous. We then use that person in our imagination "I wonder what X would say now?" to counteract our old ways of thinking and give us new permissions. So instead of thinking that we must work longer and longer hours to keep up with everything, we relax and take some time out. Subsequently, rather than beating ourselves up for what we did or did not do, what tends to happen is we automatically start to give ourselves new permissions and take care of ourselves. It is interesting to note that TA psychotherapy involves much work to update the Adult ego state with new information, and challenge the Child or Parent ego state ideas. The diagram below shows the three ego states: Part of TA therapy also involves encouraging the client to grow their less developed ego states so that the three ego states are more in balance. To assess how well developed each of your ego states is, complete the "My Personal Ego States Chart" which you can find on my website under "Posters and Worksheets". This will enable you to see at a glance your ego state development. Transactions (Communications): Transactions refer to the communication exchanges between people. (Put in TA terms, a transaction is an exchange of strokes. I will explain strokes in the article ‘Transactional Analysis - Part II’) At any one time, an individual will be transacting from one of his or her ego states - Parent (values), Adult (rationality) and Child (emotions & creativity). Communication works well, or is successful, when the activated ego states are complementary or sympathetic to each other. For example, to the question: "Have you seen my keys?" (Adult) the answer would be "Yes, they are on the table." (Adult). On the other hand, communication is unsuccessful when the roles oppose each other and a “game” begins. So, to the question: "Have you seen my keys?" (Adult), the other person answers "Oh no, not again! You always lose everything, you're just like a child!" (Critical Parent). It is easy to see that such an exchange can degenerate very quickly. Many of our problems come from transactions which are unsuccessful. Transactional analysts are trained to recognize which ego states people are transacting from and to follow the transactional sequences so they can intervene and improve the quality and effectiveness of communication. According to Berne, there are three ways in which we transact or communicate with each other and each method has its own set of consequences. It is useful to understand what happens when we use each method, if we want to enjoy successful communication with others. Complementary Transactions: A complementary transaction (also referred to as a reciprocal transaction) is one in which person A says something from one ego state that invites a response from person B from a complementary ego state. For example, if person A says “I think you need to go and wash your dirty face” from a Parent ego state they are inviting person B to respond from their Child ego state and comply with something like “OK.” Equally, the conversation could be Adult to Adult: Person A: “It’s lovely weather for this time of year.” Person B: “Yes, isn’t it nice to see the sun.” Or Child to Parent: Person A: “Ow! I’ve cut myself” Person B: “Oh dear, come here and let me clean it up for you”. There are other combinations such as Child to Child and Parent to Parent etc. The important thing to understand is that whilst the transactions remain complimentary the conversation can go on indefinitely. Clearly it will stop at some stage, but this psychologically balanced exchange can continue for some time. (If you want to learn to do small talk, just respond from the ego state the person you are talking to is inviting you to come from and you can chat forever!) Further Examples: A: 'Have you written the report?' (Adult to Adult) B: 'Yes - I'm about to email it to you.' (Adult to Adult) A: 'Would you like to skip this meeting and go watch a film with me instead?' (Child to Child) B: 'I'd love to - I don't want to work anymore. What should we go and see?' (Child to Child) Crossed Transactions: In a crossed transaction the response to the stimulus is from an ego state other than the one that has been invited. For example, when person A says “I think you need to go and wash your dirty face” person B responds with “Don’t be so rude!” Here person A is inviting a Child ego state response but receives a Parent ego state response. They are likely to be a bit confused as a result. Communication failures are typically caused by a 'crossed transaction'. Further Examples: A: “Can you tell me what time it is?” (Adult) B: “Why are you always rushing me?” (Adapted Child) A: “Can you tell me what time it is?” (Adult) B: “You are always late anyway. Why do you care?” (Critical Parent) A: 'Have you written that report?' (Adult to Adult) B: “Will you stop hassling me? I'll do it eventually!” (Child to Parent) This is a crossed transaction likely to produce problems in the workplace. 'A' may respond with a Parent-to-Child transaction; for instance: A: “If you don't change your attitude, you'll get fired.” A: “Is your room tidy yet?” (Parent to Child) B: “I'm just going to do it, actually.” (Adult to Adult) This is a more positive crossed transaction. There is, however, the risk that 'A' will feel that 'B' is acting responsibly and not playing their expected role, and the conversation will develop into: A: “I can never trust you to do things!” (Parent to Child) B: “Why don't you believe anything I say?” (Child to Parent) This type of transaction can also continue indefinitely. Ulterior Transactions: Berne says that we can communicate on two levels. There is the social message – what we say, and the psychological message – what we mean. In the case of an ulterior transaction the explicit social conversation occurs in parallel with an implicit psychological transaction; for example: A: “I need you to stay late at the office with me.” (Adult words), body language indicates sexual intent (flirtatious Child) B: “Of course.” (Adult response to Adult statement), winking or grinning (Child accepts the hidden motive). Sometimes the social and psychological message do not match. Sarcasm is a great example of this. When someone is sarcastic, what they say is the opposite of what they mean. The person who they are being sarcastic to picks up the psychological message rather than the social message. When this happens the transaction is said to be ulterior. Points to Note: The ideal line of business (and similar) communication is the mature and rational Adult-Adult relationship. When both people are at the same level - Parent talking to Parent etc. (Complimentary transactions) communication is easy because both are often thinking the same. When each person is talking to a different level (Crossed transactions) communication problems occur. For example, when both people talk as a Parent to the other’s Child, their wires get crossed and conflict results. When this happens, first go to the state that the other person is in to talk at the same level. Then move yourself and the other person to the Adult level for rational conversation. Being a Nurturing Parent or talking at the same level as the other person acts to create trust. Parent ego states naturally speak to Child ego states (this is their role as a Parent). They can talk with other Parents and Adults, although the subject still may be about the children. The Nurturing Parent naturally talks to the Natural Child and the Controlling Parent to the Adaptive Child. In fact, these parts of our personality are evoked by the opposite. If someone acts as an Adaptive Child, they will most likely evoke the Controlling Parent in the other person. Being a Controlling Parent invites the other person into an Adaptive ‘good’ Child state where they may conform with your demands. There is also a risk that they will be an Adaptive 'naughty’ Child and rebel. They may also take opposing Parent or Adult states. Want to Know More? The article “Transactional Analysis – Part II” deals with Strokes and Games and “Transactional Analysis – Part III” deals with Life Scripts.
中文翻译
沟通分析（常简称为TA）是由埃里克·伯恩博士在20世纪60年代发展起来的一种人际关系方法。它基于这样的哲学理念：人们可以改变；我们都有权存在于这个世界上并被接纳。沟通分析基于两个概念：我们的人格有三个侧面或“自我状态”（父母、成人和儿童），这些自我状态在内部和外部与他人进行“沟通”（因此得名）。根据TA理论，我们的人格会交替且不同程度地被这三个侧面之一所主导。通过研究自我状态、它们引发的行为、它们导致的游戏和场景，沟通分析帮助我们理解如何与他人相处，并为我们提供了自我认知和个人发展的有用工具。TA是心理治疗（个人、夫妻和家庭治疗）以及教育和商业（招聘、技能评估和理解关系动态）中常用的模型。本文（第一部分）概述了沟通分析中的两个关键概念——自我状态和沟通。自我状态：根据TA理论，我们的人格有三个侧面或“自我状态”——父母、成人和儿童自我状态。自我状态是我们体验世界的一种方式。它是一个完整的思维、情感和行为系统，我们通过它与他人互动（甚至在我们内心的对话中与自己互动）。当我们处于每个自我状态时，我们的思维、情感和行为是一致的。请注意，每个自我状态都用大写字母表示，以区分自我状态和实际的父母、成人和儿童。自我状态以图表形式绘制如下：父母自我状态：这是我们从父母和重要他人那里复制来的一套情感、思维和行为。随着成长，我们从父母和照顾者那里吸收想法、信念、情感和行为。（如果我们生活在大家庭中，那么有更多的人可以影响和学习）。当我们这样做时，这被称为内摄，就好像我们吸收了照顾者的全部。例如，我们可能会注意到我们说的话就像我们的父亲、母亲、祖母可能做过的那样，即使我们有意识地不想这样做。我们这样做是因为我们与这个人生活了很长时间，以至于我们自动重复了某些对我们说过的话，或者像他们对待我们那样对待他人。就好像有人按下了录音的“播放”键，我们不加质疑地回放我们所看到和听到的。父母自我状态植根于过去。我们可以扮演两种类型的父母：养育型父母——这种父母类型是关怀和关心的，通常表现为母亲形象（尽管男性也可以扮演）。他们试图让孩子满足，提供一个安全的港湾和无条件的爱来安抚孩子的烦恼。控制型（或批评型）父母——这种父母类型试图让孩子按照父母希望的方式行事，可能是传递价值观或信念，或帮助孩子理解并生活在社会中。他们也可能有负面意图，将孩子当作替罪羊。成人自我状态：成人自我状态是“成熟”的理性人，他们合理而自信地说话，既不试图控制他人，也不对他人做出攻击性反应。成人对自己感到舒适，对我们许多人来说，是我们的“理想自我”。成人自我状态处理此时此地的现实。它是处理中心，很重要，因为它是唯一与过去无关的自我状态。成人自我状态能够以不受过去不健康影响的方式处理当前事物。如果你被问及如何制作纸飞机，你可能会从你的成人自我状态回答。成人自我状态是关于自发和觉察，具有亲密能力。成人能够看到人们的本来面目，而不是我们投射到他们身上的东西。成人询问信息，而不是保持恐惧或做出假设。在结构模型中，成人自我状态圆圈被放置在父母和儿童自我状态之间，以显示它需要在这两者之间协调。例如，父母可能会批评孩子，说“你不行，看看你又做错了什么，你真没用”。孩子可能会回应“我不行，看看我多没用，我从来都做不对任何事情”。（大多数人听不到他们的内心对话，因为它持续太久，他们只是相信生活就是这样）。一个有效的成人可以通过声明这种养育方式没有帮助，并询问是否准备好学习另一种方式来干预。或者，成人可以停止任何负面对话，并决定发展另一个积极的父母自我状态，可能是从多年来遇到的其他人的那里吸收的。儿童自我状态：儿童自我状态植根于过去，回放我们童年时期经历的思维、情感和行为。例如，如果老板叫我们进他或她的办公室，我们可能立即感到胃里翻腾，想知道我们做错了什么。如果我们探索这种自动思维的原因，我们可能会想起校长叫我们进去训斥我们的时间。同样，我们可能会进入某人的房子，闻到一股可爱的气味，想起我们小时候祖母的房子，所有我们六岁时拥有的温暖感觉可能会涌回来。我们可以扮演三种类型的儿童：自然儿童——这种儿童类型在很大程度上没有自我意识，其特征是他们发出的非语言声音（耶，哇哦等）。他们喜欢玩耍，开放且脆弱。小教授——这种儿童类型是好奇和探索的儿童，总是尝试新事物（通常让他们的控制型父母很恼火）。与自然儿童一起，他们组成了自由儿童。适应型儿童——这种儿童类型对他们周围的世界做出反应，要么改变自己以适应，从而表现得很好，要么反抗他们感受到的力量，从而变得淘气。父母和儿童自我状态都在不断更新。例如，我们可能会遇到一个人，他给了我们童年时需要的（但没有得到的）许可，去享受乐趣和快乐。然后我们在想象中使用那个人“我想知道X现在会说什么？”来对抗我们的旧思维方式，并给我们新的许可。因此，我们不再认为我们必须工作越来越长的时间来跟上一切，而是放松并抽出一些时间。随后，我们不再为所做或未做的事情自责，而是自动开始给自己新的许可并照顾自己。有趣的是，TA心理治疗涉及大量工作，用新信息更新成人自我状态，并挑战儿童或父母自我状态的想法。下图显示了三个自我状态：TA治疗的一部分还包括鼓励客户发展他们不太发达的自我状态，以便三个自我状态更加平衡。要评估你的每个自我状态发展得如何，请完成“我的个人自我状态图表”，你可以在我的网站上“海报和工作表”下找到。这将使你一目了然地看到你的自我状态发展。沟通（交流）：沟通指的是人与人之间的交流交换。（用TA术语来说，沟通是安抚的交换。我将在文章“沟通分析-第二部分”中解释安抚）。在任何时候，一个人都会从他的一个自我状态——父母（价值观）、成人（理性）和儿童（情感和创造力）——进行沟通。当激活的自我状态相互补充或同情时，沟通效果良好或成功。例如，对于问题：“你看到我的钥匙了吗？”（成人）答案将是“是的，它们在桌子上。”（成人）。另一方面，当角色相互对立并开始“游戏”时，沟通是不成功的。因此，对于问题：“你看到我的钥匙了吗？”（成人），另一个人回答“哦不，又来了！你总是丢东西，你就像个孩子！”（批评型父母）。很容易看出这样的交流可能很快恶化。我们的许多问题来自不成功的沟通。沟通分析师经过培训，能够识别人们从哪个自我状态进行沟通，并跟踪沟通序列，以便他们可以干预并提高沟通的质量和效果。根据伯恩的说法，我们以三种方式相互沟通，每种方法都有其一系列后果。如果我们想与他人享受成功的沟通，了解使用每种方法时会发生什么是有用的。互补沟通：互补沟通（也称为互惠沟通）是指A从一种自我状态说某事，邀请B从互补的自我状态回应。例如，如果A从父母自我状态说“我认为你需要去洗你脏兮兮的脸”，他们是在邀请B从他们的儿童自我状态回应，并顺从地说“好的”。同样，对话可以是成人对成人：A：“这个季节的天气真好。”B：“是的，看到太阳真好。”或儿童对父母：A：“哎哟！我割伤了自己”B：“哦亲爱的，过来让我帮你清理一下”。还有其他组合，如儿童对儿童和父母对父母等。重要的是要理解，只要沟通保持互补，对话就可以无限期进行。显然它会在某个阶段停止，但这种心理平衡的交流可以持续一段时间。（如果你想学习闲聊，只需从与你交谈的人邀请你来自的自我状态回应，你就可以永远聊天！）更多示例：A：“你写完报告了吗？”（成人对成人）B：“是的——我正要发邮件给你。”（成人对成人）A：“你想跳过这次会议，和我一起去看电影吗？”（儿童对儿童）B：“我很乐意——我不想再工作了。我们应该去看什么？”（儿童对儿童）交叉沟通：在交叉沟通中，对刺激的回应来自被邀请的自我状态以外的自我状态。例如，当A说“我认为你需要去洗你脏兮兮的脸”时，B回应“别这么粗鲁！”这里A邀请的是儿童自我状态回应，但收到的是父母自我状态回应。他们可能会因此感到有点困惑。沟通失败通常由“交叉沟通”引起。更多示例：A：“你能告诉我现在几点吗？”（成人）B：“你为什么总是催我？”（适应型儿童）A：“你能告诉我现在几点吗？”（成人）B：“反正你总是迟到。你为什么在乎？”（批评型父母）A：“你写完那份报告了吗？”（成人对成人）B：“你能别烦我吗？我最终会做的！”（儿童对父母）这是一个可能在工作中产生问题的交叉沟通。“A”可能会以父母对儿童的沟通回应；例如：A：“如果你不改变你的态度，你会被解雇。”A：“你的房间整理好了吗？”（父母对儿童）B：“我正要去做，实际上。”（成人对成人）这是一个更积极的交叉沟通。然而，存在风险，“A”会感觉“B”行为负责，没有扮演他们预期的角色，对话会发展成：A：“我永远不能信任你做事！”（父母对儿童）B：“你为什么不相信我说的任何话？”（儿童对父母）这种类型的沟通也可以无限期继续。隐含沟通：伯恩说我们可以在两个层面上沟通。有社会信息——我们说什么，和心理信息——我们什么意思。在隐含沟通的情况下，明确的社会对话与隐含的心理沟通同时发生；例如：A：“我需要你和我一起在办公室加班。”（成人话语），肢体语言表明性意图（调情的儿童）B：“当然。”（成人对成人陈述的回应），眨眼或咧嘴笑（儿童接受隐藏动机）。有时社会和心理信息不匹配。讽刺是一个很好的例子。当某人讽刺时，他们说的与他们意思相反。被讽刺的人接收到的是心理信息而不是社会信息。当这种情况发生时，沟通被称为隐含的。注意事项：理想的商业（及类似）沟通是成熟和理性的成人-成人关系。当两人处于同一水平——父母对父母等（互补沟通）时，沟通很容易，因为两者通常想法相同。当每个人在不同水平上交谈（交叉沟通）时，沟通问题发生。例如，当两人都作为父母对对方的儿童交谈时，他们的线路交叉，导致冲突。当这种情况发生时，首先进入对方所处的状态，在同一水平上交谈。然后将自己和对方移动到成人水平进行理性对话。作为养育型父母或与对方在同一水平上交谈有助于建立信任。父母自我状态自然与儿童自我状态交谈（这是他们作为父母的角色）。他们可以与其他父母和成人交谈，尽管主题可能仍然是关于孩子的。养育型父母自然与自然儿童交谈，控制型父母与适应型儿童交谈。事实上，我们个性的这些部分是由相反的部分唤起的。如果某人表现得像适应型儿童，他们很可能会唤起对方身上的控制型父母。作为控制型父母邀请对方进入适应型“好”儿童状态，他们可能顺从你的要求。也存在风险，他们会成为适应型“淘气”儿童并反抗。他们也可能采取对立的父母或成人状态。想了解更多？文章“沟通分析-第二部分”涉及安抚和游戏，“沟通分析-第三部分”涉及人生脚本。
文章概要
本文介绍了沟通分析（TA）的基本概念，重点围绕自我状态（父母、成人、儿童）和沟通类型（互补、交叉、隐含）。文章解释了成人自我状态作为理性、现实导向的“理想自我”在处理当前事务中的核心作用，并强调了通过平衡自我状态来改善人际关系和个人发展的实用性。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容：想象一下，我们每个人心里都有三个小人儿：一个是像爸爸妈妈那样爱管事的“父母小人”，一个是像小朋友那样爱玩爱闹的“儿童小人”，还有一个是像大哥哥大姐姐那样讲道理、会思考的“成人小人”。当我们和别人说话时，这三个小人儿会跳出来帮忙。如果两个人都用“成人小人”说话，就像一起商量怎么折纸飞机，事情就会很顺利。但如果一个人用“父母小人”教训别人，另一个人用“儿童小人”耍脾气，就像吵架一样，话就说不到一块儿啦。学会让“成人小人”多出来工作，我们就能更好地交朋友和解决问题哦！
TA沟通分析心理学理论评价：从沟通分析心理学理论来看，这篇文章精准地阐述了自我状态模型的核心框架，特别是突出了成人自我状态作为理性处理中心的角色。文章通过清晰的分类（如养育型与控制型父母、自然儿童与适应型儿童）和生动的例子（如内部对话干预），强化了TA理论中“人们可以改变”的哲学基础。它成功地将抽象概念（如沟通类型）转化为可操作的工具，体现了TA在促进自我觉察和人际和谐方面的理论深度。文章没有偏离到其他心理学流派，保持了纯粹的TA视角，这有助于读者建立坚实的理论基础。
在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题：在实践上，沟通分析可以应用于心理咨询、教育辅导、职场沟通和家庭关系等领域。基于成人自我状态和模型构建，它可以解决人们的十个问题：1. 帮助人们在工作中减少冲突，通过成人对成人沟通提高团队合作效率；2. 改善家庭交流，让父母和孩子之间更多使用理性对话而非批评或叛逆；3. 提升个人情绪管理能力，通过识别自我状态避免过度反应；4. 增强自信，通过发展成人自我状态作为“理想自我”；5. 解决沟通误解，如识别交叉沟通导致的争吵；6. 促进亲密关系，通过成人状态的亲密能力建立信任；7. 帮助青少年应对压力，通过平衡自我状态减少焦虑；8. 优化领导力，在管理中运用成人理性决策；9. 支持个人成长，通过更新自我状态摆脱旧模式；10. 提高社交技能，如使用互补沟通进行有效闲聊。