英文原文
Self-regulation for adults: Strategies for getting a handle on emotions and behavior - Harvard Health
Everyone has unpleasant emotions from time to time such as anger, jealousy, fear, or anxiety. It's human nature. But a key to living a satisfying life and getting along with others is to be able to manage your emotions and behavior even in times of stress. One way to do this is with self-regulation.
What is self-regulation? Self-regulation is the act of controlling your behaviors, thoughts, emotions, choices, and impulses. Self-regulation skills help you keep negative emotions in check and think before you react. In essence, it's a type of self-control or emotion regulation.
Negative emotions are disruptive. They can interfere with your happiness, productivity, and relationships. While you can't always avoid negative feelings, you can change the way you react to them.
Self-regulation draws upon: emotional stability, self-discipline, flexibility in adapting to different situations, persistence in getting through tough times, strong personal values that guide your reactions and decisions.
People with good self-regulation skills can still feel sad, angry, or stressed during difficult times. But they have learned to manage these challenges better.
Why is self-regulation important? When confronted with distressing or challenging situations, people with a strong ability to self-regulate can maintain a measured outlook and respond with thoughtfulness and maturity.
People with good emotion regulation skills tend to have healthier behaviors and better overall health. Some of the healthy behaviors connected with self-regulation include being physically active, having a good diet, and not smoking.
On the other hand, people who are emotionally dysregulated experience high levels of stress and anxiety that can lead to poor physical and mental health. Some of the conditions associated with emotional dysregulation include being more sedentary, being overweight, and having high blood pressure and other stress-related problems.
Having good self-regulation yourself can be especially valuable for parents teaching these skills to their children, from toddlers to teenagers.
Techniques for improving self-regulation. Improving your emotion regulation skills can help you be better prepared when you encounter obstacles — big or small — throughout your life.
Self-regulation starts with exploring and understanding your behaviors, emotional reactions, and impulses. For example, do you notice that you are triggered by certain environments or people? Are you responding to an experience in your past rather than the current situation? You then consider the consequences of possible responses, and consciously choose those that can lead to a more positive outcome.
Mindfulness and cognitive behavior strategies are two ways to do this.
Mindfulness and self-regulation. Mindfulness plays a strong role in self-regulation. It involves focusing one's awareness on the breath and then expanding awareness in an open way to passing thoughts, and taking the time to calm them by focusing on the present moment without judgment.
Practicing mindfulness helps you appreciate the simple pleasures of life. Then, when you face stressful situations, you can tap into those feelings of peace and satisfaction to help you self-regulate and keep your emotions under your control. Practicing mindfulness can help you build the capacity to deal with problems.
Cognitive behavioral strategies for self-regulation. Cognitive behavioral strategies help one reduce internal drivers of emotional dysregulation by replacing unhelpful thoughts and behaviors with positive ones. These techniques are often done with the help of a therapist, but they can be practiced at home as well.
Cognitive behavioral techniques include identifying and labeling your emotions, understanding the reasons for your emotions that may include distorted thoughts or catastrophizing, and learning to let painful feelings go. You might also consider any regrettable responses you have had to difficult and stressful situations in the past, and replace those behaviors with positive alternatives.
Practical tips for daily self-regulation. The ability to self-regulate can be learned and improved. One tip to help you practice improving your self-regulation skills involves using the four-step Stop-Breathe-Reflect-Choose approach: When you feel upsetting emotions, tell yourself to calm down and think more clearly. Try to relax by taking deep slow breaths, counting to 10, or taking a walk. Don't react until you feel like you have your emotions under control. Think about responding instead of simply reacting.
中文翻译
成人自我调节：掌控情绪与行为的策略 - 哈佛健康
每个人时不时都会有令人不快的情绪，比如愤怒、嫉妒、恐惧或焦虑。这是人的天性。但过上满意生活并与他人和睦相处的关键，是即使在压力时期也能管理自己的情绪和行为。实现这一点的一种方式就是自我调节。
什么是自我调节？自我调节是控制你的行为、思想、情绪、选择和冲动的行为。自我调节技能帮助你控制负面情绪，并在反应前思考。本质上，它是一种自我控制或情绪调节。
负面情绪具有破坏性。它们会干扰你的幸福、生产力和人际关系。虽然你无法总是避免负面感受，但你可以改变对它们的反应方式。
自我调节依赖于：情绪稳定性、自律性、适应不同情况的灵活性、度过艰难时期的毅力、指导你反应和决策的强烈个人价值观。
拥有良好自我调节技能的人在困难时期仍然会感到悲伤、愤怒或压力。但他们学会了更好地应对这些挑战。
为什么自我调节很重要？当面对令人痛苦或具有挑战性的情况时，具有强大自我调节能力的人能够保持审慎的视角，并以深思熟虑和成熟的方式回应。
拥有良好情绪调节技能的人往往有更健康的行为和更好的整体健康。与自我调节相关的一些健康行为包括积极锻炼身体、良好饮食和不吸烟。
另一方面，情绪失调的人会经历高水平的压力和焦虑，这可能导致身心健康状况不佳。与情绪失调相关的一些状况包括更久坐不动、超重、高血压和其他与压力相关的问题。
自己拥有良好的自我调节能力对于父母将这些技能教给孩子（从幼儿到青少年）尤其有价值。
改善自我调节的技巧。提高你的情绪调节技能可以帮助你在生活中遇到障碍（无论大小）时更好地做好准备。
自我调节始于探索和理解你的行为、情绪反应和冲动。例如，你是否注意到自己被某些环境或人触发？你是在回应过去的经历而不是当前的情况吗？然后你考虑可能反应的后果，并有意识地选择那些能带来更积极结果的反应。
正念和认知行为策略是两种实现这一点的方法。
正念与自我调节。正念在自我调节中扮演着重要角色。它包括将意识集中在呼吸上，然后以开放的方式扩展意识到流逝的思绪，并通过专注于当下而不加评判来花时间平静它们。
练习正念帮助你欣赏生活中的简单乐趣。然后，当你面对压力情况时，你可以利用那些平静和满足的感觉来帮助你自我调节并保持情绪在控制之下。练习正念可以帮助你建立处理问题的能力。
自我调节的认知行为策略。认知行为策略通过用积极的想法和行为替代无益的想法和行为，帮助减少情绪失调的内在驱动因素。这些技巧通常在治疗师的帮助下进行，但也可以在家练习。
认知行为技巧包括识别和标记你的情绪，理解你情绪的原因（可能包括扭曲的想法或灾难化思维），并学会放下痛苦的感觉。你也可以考虑过去对困难和压力情况做出的任何令人遗憾的反应，并用积极的替代行为替换那些行为。
日常自我调节的实用技巧。自我调节能力是可以学习和提高的。一个帮助你练习提高自我调节技能的技巧是使用四步停止-呼吸-反思-选择方法：当你感到令人不安的情绪时，告诉自己冷静下来，更清晰地思考。尝试通过深呼吸、数到10或散步来放松。在你感觉情绪得到控制之前不要反应。思考如何回应，而不是简单地反应。
文章概要
本文介绍了成人自我调节的概念、重要性及实用策略。自我调节涉及控制行为、思想、情绪和冲动，有助于管理负面情绪，提升生活满意度和人际关系。文章强调了情绪稳定性、自律、适应性和个人价值观在自我调节中的作用，并指出良好自我调节技能与健康行为和整体健康的关联。改善自我调节的技巧包括正念和认知行为策略，如识别情绪、理解情绪原因和替换无益思维。日常实用方法如停止-呼吸-反思-选择四步法，帮助人们在压力下保持冷静和理性反应。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容：这篇文章讲的是大人怎么管好自己的情绪和行为。比如，有时候我们会生气、害怕或者着急，这很正常，但如果我们能学会控制这些情绪，就能过得开心，和别人好好相处。自我调节就是控制自己，不随便发脾气，先想清楚再行动。文章说，我们可以通过练习正念（就是安静地呼吸，注意现在的事情）和改变不好的想法来做到这一点。还有一个好方法，当你生气时，先停下来，深呼吸，想一想，再选择怎么做。
TA沟通分析心理学理论评价：从TA沟通分析心理学角度看，这篇文章强调了成人自我状态在情绪调节中的核心作用。自我调节技能体现了成人自我状态的理性、客观和适应性功能，帮助个体在压力情境下保持冷静，避免被儿童自我状态（如冲动、情绪化）或父母自我状态（如批评、控制）主导。文章中的技巧，如正念和认知行为策略，促进了成人自我状态的激活，使个体能够审视和调整自己的情绪反应，这与TA理论中“成人自我状态作为问题解决者”的理念一致。自我调节依赖于情绪稳定性和个人价值观，这反映了成人自我状态整合内在资源的能力，有助于实现更健康的心理脚本和人生定位。
在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题：自我调节策略在多个领域有广泛应用，可以解决人们的以下十个问题：1. 职场压力管理，减少工作冲突；2. 家庭关系改善，避免情绪爆发；3. 个人情绪稳定，提升幸福感；4. 社交互动优化，增强沟通效果；5. 亲子教育支持，示范健康情绪表达；6. 学习专注力提高，克服分心；7. 健康行为促进，如坚持锻炼；8. 决策质量提升，减少冲动选择；9. 自我成长加速，培养韧性；10. 心理脚本改写，摆脱负面模式。这些应用基于TA沟通分析心理学，通过强化成人自我状态，帮助个体在日常生活和挑战中实现更平衡和有效的情绪行为管理。