英文原文
Within my recent Positive Psychology studies (yes, another qualification!) I have delved into many areas of interest in relation to life and leadership. One area that has me currently buzzing with thought comes from the field of Transactional Analysis, particularly the concept of ego states, and how it relates to our mahi as leaders.
Within Transactional Analysis, the concept of ego states of Parent, Adult and Child speaks about the ego-space from which we may be operating at any given time. Being aware of these spaces not only influences our own self-awareness, it also supports us to understand how one’s ego state can influence others. In leadership, a leader's predominant ego state can significantly affect team members' responses and behaviours, shaping the overall team dynamic.
At any given time, we might find ourselves, or consciously choose to operate, from either a Parent, Child, or an Adult state. Each state, or positioning has some behavioural tendencies, which can also provoke certain reciprocal behaviours from others. Furthermore, when aware of our own position, we can also optimise this to support those we lead to level-up their own state.
The different Ego States and their influence on Others
1. Parent Ego State
* Nurturing Parent Influence: When a leader predominantly operates from the Nurturing Parent state, they offer support, reassurance, and encouragement. This can create a secure and positive environment where team members feel valued and cared for. Such an atmosphere often encourages employees to take risks, share ideas, and feel more connected to the team, fostering a sense of loyalty and motivation. However, an overemphasis on the Nurturing Parent state can sometimes lead to dependency, and cause others to shift into child-state. Team members might become overly reliant on the leader for support and validation, potentially hindering their ability to work independently and take initiative., * Critical Parent Influence: Leaders operating from the Critical Parent state can be effective in setting standards, maintaining discipline, and ensuring compliance with rules and procedures. This can be beneficial in environments where structure and adherence to protocols are crucial. However, if used excessively, the Critical Parent state can create a restrictive and intimidating atmosphere. Team members may feel judged, criticised, or micromanaged, leading to a decrease in morale and creativity. It can also trigger defensive or rebellious responses, activating the Adapted Child state in team members, where they either comply reluctantly or resist authority.,
2. Child Ego State
* Natural Child Influence: A leader who frequently engages the Natural Child state can inspire creativity, spontaneity, and a playful approach to problem-solving. This can lead to a more open and innovative team culture, where members feel free to express their ideas without fear of judgement. The Natural Child state can encourage others to also tap into their creative potential and embrace a more dynamic and flexible approach to work. However, if a leader excessively exhibits behaviours associated with the Natural Child, such as impulsiveness or lack of discipline, it can lead to a lack of structure and focus. Team members might struggle to find direction and consistency, potentially resulting in decreased productivity and increased confusion., * Adapted Child Influence: If a leader exhibits traits of the Adapted Child state, such as excessive compliance or avoidance of confrontation, it may lead to an environment where issues are not addressed openly. Team members might mirror this behaviour, resulting in suppressed opinions and unaddressed conflicts. Alternatively, they might respond with their own Critical Parent state, stepping into a more dominant role to compensate for the perceived lack of leadership.,
3. Adult Ego State
The Adult state is neutral and objective, focused on data, facts, and rational thinking. Leaders operating from this state promote a balanced and fair work environment. They are likely to encourage open communication, critical thinking, and a collaborative approach to problem-solving. This encourages team members to also engage their Adult state, leading to more effective and rational decision-making within the team.
The Adult state helps to mediate between the Parent and Child states, creating a stabilising influence that can diffuse potential conflicts and encourage constructive interactions. By modelling Adult behaviours, leaders can help team members develop their own Adult responses, fostering a culture of respect, responsibility, and logical thinking.
How might I apply this and what do I need to be aware of?
Matching and Mismatching States: You can intentionally match your ego state to that of your team members to build rapport or deliberately mismatch to redirect the interaction. Let’s have a look at a couple of examples:
Matching States: Suppose a team member is feeling overwhelmed with a project and starts acting from a Child state, expressing frustration and helplessness. You can match their state by adopting a Nurturing Parent response, offering reassurance and empathy. "I understand this project feels challenging right now. Let’s take a step back and break it down together. You’re doing great, and we’ll get through this."
Mismatching States: If a team member is acting rebelliously and refusing to follow procedures, they are in a Child state. Instead of responding with authority from a Critical Parent state, which might escalate the situation, you can adopt the Adult state. Provide calm, rational guidance: "I see you're frustrated with the current procedures. Let's discuss why they're important and how we can make this process smoother for everyone."
Awareness and Adaptability: A key aspect of effective leadership is the awareness of your own ego state and the ability to recognise and adapt to the states of others. By being mindful of how your ego state influences your team, you can better manage team dynamics, encourage positive behaviours, and mitigate potential conflicts. A couple of examples of this might be:
Leader Awareness: During a meeting, you notice you are operating from a Critical Parent state, setting strict deadlines and expectations. Recognising that some team members are reacting defensively, you consciously shift to an Adult state, encouraging open discussion about the challenges and seeking their input on the deadlines. "I understand the deadlines are tight. Let's talk about any obstacles you’re facing and see how we can address them together."
Leader Adaptability: A team member typically operates from an Adapted Child state, always agreeing and avoiding confrontation. You recognise this and adapt your approach by gently encouraging them to share their true opinions. "I appreciate your willingness to go along with the plan, but your insights are valuable. What do you really think about this strategy? Your perspective could help us improve."
Encouraging Growth: You can use your understanding of Transactional Analysis to foster personal and professional growth within your team. This can be particularly helpful if you feel you are doing it all.
For example: You notice that some team members often defer to you for decision-making. To foster their growth, you encourage them to operate more from their Adult state. During a team meeting, instead of providing all the answers, you pose questions that promote self-awareness and critical thinking. "What do you think is the best approach to tackle this issue? How do you suggest we proceed based on the data we have?" This approach helps them develop their problem-solving skills and confidence in making decisions.
When we are aware-of, and understand each of these states as leaders, we are then able to lead more consciously and purposefully. We can also start to realise when others may be operating from different states that can pull us into an undesired state, and adapt our own positioning to manage this.
Leading is highly complex, and can be like a dance; sometimes a waltz, and other times a tango. In recognising the impact of our own ego state and those of our teams, we are able to create a balanced environment that fosters growth, creativity, and mutual respect. This approach not only enhances individual and team performance but also contributes to a healthier, more supportive workplace culture.
I’m excited to be launching our 2025 programmes soon. If you want to get a jump-start on your PLD planning, drop me a line.
Mary-Anne Murphy
中文翻译
在我最近的正向心理学研究中（是的，又一个资格认证！），我深入探讨了许多与生活和领导力相关的兴趣领域。目前让我思考不已的一个领域来自沟通分析心理学，特别是自我状态的概念，以及它如何与我们作为领导者的工作相关。
在沟通分析心理学中，父母、成人和儿童自我状态的概念指的是我们在任何特定时间可能运作的自我空间。意识到这些空间不仅影响我们自己的自我意识，还帮助我们理解一个人的自我状态如何影响他人。在领导力中，领导者主要的自我状态可以显著影响团队成员的回应和行为，塑造整体的团队动态。
在任何特定时间，我们可能会发现自己，或者有意识地选择从父母、儿童或成人状态中运作。每种状态或定位都有一些行为倾向，这也可能引发他人的某些互惠行为。此外，当我们意识到自己的定位时，我们也可以优化这一点，以支持我们领导的人提升他们自己的状态。
不同的自我状态及其对他人的影响
1. 父母自我状态
* 养育型父母影响：当领导者主要从养育型父母状态运作时，他们提供支持、安慰和鼓励。这可以创造一个安全和积极的环境，让团队成员感到被重视和关心。这种氛围通常鼓励员工冒险、分享想法，并感到与团队更紧密联系，培养忠诚感和动力。然而，过度强调养育型父母状态有时可能导致依赖性，并使他人转向儿童状态。团队成员可能变得过度依赖领导者的支持和认可，可能阻碍他们独立工作和主动性的能力。* 批判型父母影响：从批判型父母状态运作的领导者可以有效地设定标准、维持纪律，并确保遵守规则和程序。这在结构和遵守协议至关重要的环境中可能是有益的。然而，如果过度使用，批判型父母状态可能创造一个限制性和恐吓性的氛围。团队成员可能感到被评判、批评或微观管理，导致士气和创造力下降。它也可能引发防御性或叛逆性回应，激活团队成员的适应型儿童状态，他们要么不情愿地遵守，要么抵制权威。
2. 儿童自我状态
* 自然型儿童影响：经常参与自然型儿童状态的领导者可以激发创造力、自发性和解决问题的游戏性方法。这可能导致一个更开放和创新的团队文化，成员可以自由表达想法而不怕评判。自然型儿童状态可以鼓励他人也挖掘他们的创造潜力，并拥抱更动态和灵活的工作方法。然而，如果领导者过度表现出与自然型儿童相关的行为，如冲动或缺乏纪律，可能导致缺乏结构和焦点。团队成员可能难以找到方向和一致性，可能导致生产力下降和混乱增加。* 适应型儿童影响：如果领导者表现出适应型儿童状态的特征，如过度顺从或避免对抗，可能导致问题未公开解决的环境。团队成员可能模仿这种行为，导致意见被压制和冲突未解决。或者，他们可能以自己的批判型父母状态回应，进入更主导的角色以补偿感知到的领导力缺乏。
3. 成人自我状态
成人状态是中性和客观的，专注于数据、事实和理性思维。从这个状态运作的领导者促进平衡和公平的工作环境。他们可能鼓励开放沟通、批判性思维和协作解决问题的方法。这鼓励团队成员也参与他们的成人状态，导致团队内更有效和理性的决策。
成人状态有助于调解父母和儿童状态，创造一个稳定影响，可以化解潜在冲突并鼓励建设性互动。通过模拟成人行为，领导者可以帮助团队成员发展他们自己的成人回应，培养尊重、责任和逻辑思维的文化。
我如何应用这一点，我需要意识到什么？
匹配和不匹配状态：你可以有意识地匹配你的自我状态到团队成员的自我状态以建立融洽关系，或故意不匹配以重定向互动。让我们看几个例子：
匹配状态：假设一个团队成员对项目感到不知所措，并开始从儿童状态行动，表达沮丧和无助。你可以通过采用养育型父母回应来匹配他们的状态，提供安慰和同理心。“我理解这个项目现在感觉有挑战性。让我们退一步，一起分解它。你做得很好，我们会度过这个难关的。”
不匹配状态：如果一个团队成员叛逆地行动并拒绝遵循程序，他们处于儿童状态。与其从批判型父母状态以权威回应，这可能升级情况，你可以采用成人状态。提供冷静、理性的指导：“我看到你对当前程序感到沮丧。让我们讨论为什么它们重要，以及我们如何使这个过程对每个人都更顺畅。”
意识和适应性：有效领导力的一个关键方面是意识到你自己的自我状态，以及识别和适应他人状态的能力。通过注意你的自我状态如何影响你的团队，你可以更好地管理团队动态，鼓励积极行为，并减轻潜在冲突。这可能有几个例子：
领导者意识：在会议期间，你注意到你从批判型父母状态运作，设定严格的截止日期和期望。认识到一些团队成员防御性地反应，你有意识地转向成人状态，鼓励关于挑战的开放讨论，并寻求他们对截止日期的意见。“我理解截止日期很紧。让我们谈谈你面临的任何障碍，看看我们如何一起解决它们。”
领导者适应性：一个团队成员通常从适应型儿童状态运作，总是同意并避免对抗。你认识到这一点，并通过温和鼓励他们分享真实意见来调整你的方法。“我感谢你愿意遵循计划，但你的见解很有价值。你真正对这个策略有什么看法？你的观点可能帮助我们改进。”
鼓励成长：你可以利用你对沟通分析心理学的理解来促进团队内的个人和职业成长。如果你觉得你在做所有事情，这可能特别有帮助。
例如：你注意到一些团队成员经常依赖你做决策。为了促进他们的成长，你鼓励他们更多从成人状态运作。在团队会议期间，而不是提供所有答案，你提出促进自我意识和批判性思维的问题。“你认为解决这个问题的最佳方法是什么？你建议我们如何基于我们拥有的数据继续？”这种方法帮助他们发展解决问题的技能和决策信心。
当我们作为领导者意识到并理解这些状态中的每一个时，我们就能够更有意识和有目的地领导。我们也可以开始意识到他人可能从不同的状态运作，这可能将我们拉入不想要的状态，并调整我们自己的定位来管理这一点。
领导力非常复杂，可能像一场舞蹈；有时是华尔兹，有时是探戈。在认识到我们自己自我状态和我们团队自我状态的影响时，我们能够创造一个平衡的环境，促进成长、创造力和相互尊重。这种方法不仅增强个人和团队表现，还促进更健康、更支持性的工作场所文化。
我很兴奋即将推出我们的2025年项目。如果你想提前开始你的专业学习与发展规划，给我发个消息。
玛丽-安妮·墨菲
文章概要
本文基于沟通分析心理学理论，探讨了自我状态（父母、成人、儿童）在领导力中的应用。文章详细分析了三种自我状态对团队动态的影响，强调成人自我状态在促进理性决策、平衡工作环境和化解冲突中的关键作用。通过匹配和不匹配策略、领导者意识和适应性，以及鼓励团队成员成长的实际例子，展示了如何运用自我状态理论提升领导效能，培养尊重、责任和创新的团队文化。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容：这篇文章讲的是，当领导的时候，我们心里有三种不同的“模式”，就像游戏里的角色一样。第一种是“父母模式”，可以像好妈妈一样照顾人，也可以像严厉爸爸一样定规矩。第二种是“儿童模式”，可以像小朋友一样玩得开心有创意，但有时也会闹脾气不听话。第三种是“成人模式”，就像聪明的科学家，冷静地看事实、想问题。文章说，好领导要像跳舞一样，知道什么时候用哪种模式，特别是多用“成人模式”，这样团队才能一起好好工作，大家互相尊重，把事情做得更好。
TA沟通分析心理学理论评价：本文精准应用了沟通分析心理学的自我状态理论，深入剖析了父母、成人、儿童三种自我状态在领导力情境中的动态交互。作者清晰区分了养育型父母与批判型父母、自然型儿童与适应型儿童的不同影响，并突出强调了成人自我状态作为理性中介的核心价值。文章通过实际案例，生动展示了自我状态匹配与不匹配的策略运用，体现了沟通分析心理学中“安抚”与“时间结构”的概念，有效阐释了如何通过自我状态调整优化人际沟通与团队管理。这种分析不仅强化了理论的可操作性，也彰显了沟通分析心理学在组织行为领域的强大解释力。
在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题：应用领域包括企业管理、团队建设、员工培训、冲突调解、领导力发展、组织文化塑造、职业辅导、教育管理、家庭关系改善和社区服务。可以解决的十个问题：1. 帮助领导者识别自身主导自我状态，避免过度依赖父母或儿童状态导致的团队失衡。2. 通过成人状态促进理性决策，减少情绪化冲突。3. 教导团队成员理解彼此自我状态，增强相互理解和包容。4. 运用匹配策略建立领导与员工之间的情感连接，提升团队凝聚力。5. 利用不匹配策略引导叛逆员工回归合作，化解对抗行为。6. 培养领导者的自我觉察能力，及时调整不当自我状态表现。7. 鼓励员工发展成人状态，提高自主解决问题和创新能力。8. 通过自我状态分析优化会议沟通效率，避免无效争论。9. 应用理论改善工作场所氛围，降低员工压力与 burnout 风险。10. 支持组织建立基于尊重与责任的健康文化，促进长期可持续发展。