英文原文
Transactional Analysis
In the 1960's a man named Eric Berne came up with a theory about communications called transactional analysis or TA for short. In his theory Berne called communications "transactions". This theory was further described in a book called "I'm OK You're OK." by Thomas Harris. In his book Harris elaborated on Berne using a model called "Parent, Adult, Child" communications. Parent, adult and child do not have their usual meanings in this context. A basic understanding of T A can help us evaluate our communications and improve communications by being better able to deliver adult communications or "I" messages which is a type of appropriate and assertive communications we will expand on later.
A very simple explanation of TA follows.
Berne's theory of TA as refined by Harris suggested that communications can be divided into three basic types.
1. The Child Ego State. This the basic way all children enter the world. Within this state are three dimensions. 1. The free child who is fun loving, inquisitive and wanting to be liked. 2. The rebellious child 3. The manipulative child
2. The Parent Ego State. This is based on our childish understanding of parental rules and understandings. This state has two parts. 1. The critical parent 2. The loving and kind parent
3. The Adult Ego State. This is the rational part of us. The Adult Ego State functions by gathering information and making decisions based on fact. This is an objective and unemotional state. It is not a state based on years of life lived or on maturity. Children can function in the Adult Ego State.
The theory is that we have each of these states present within us all the time. Depending on the situation, we operate from one or another of the three positions. The person we are communicating to is also operating from one of the three states. Some communications can work well between states, and some work much less well.
An example might be a person who is acting angry. Most likely anger is from the "Child" state. If you want to address anger, you could begin the response to anger as a "Loving Parent" to quickly establish the communication, and then switch to an "Adult" communication to complete the response.
Here is an example of how that communication might work:
C: (Angry and rebellious) "I hate Mrs. Smith. She is always giving us more homework than any other teacher! She thinks that we have no other classes to do work in."
P: (Loving, caring and empathetic) "I know how you feel. I wish we could take more time off to play this weekend. But. ... "
A: (Objective, unemotional) "Mrs. Smith does teach calculus and it is the most difficult class I ever took. Mrs. Smith probably gives us extra work because the material is sometimes difficult."
If we were to diagram the transactions above the communication might look like this.
C: (Angry and rebellious but not sure whre the communication is going) "I hate Mrs. Smith. She is always giving us more homework than any other teacher. She thinks that we have no other classes to do work in. I never have time for myself."
P: (Loving, caring and empathetic) "I know how you feel. I wish we could take more time off to do what is important to us too, but.... "
A: (Objective and unemotional) "Mrs. Smith does teach calculus and it is the most difficult class I ever took. Mrs. Smith probably gives us extra work because the material is sometimes difficult."
This type of transactional analysis (communication study) is an excellent way of dealing with anger and other difficult situations. Sometimes it can be confusing trying to remember who (APC) you are communicating with when dealing with others so a safe rule to follow is when unsure use an adult to adult communication. It is almost never wrong. Even if the other person is acting in their parent state, an adult acting like an adult is tough to argue with.
Sometimes other people's behavior is problematic for us. Depending on the type of communicator we are, (Passive, Assertive, Aggressive) we can choose to continue allowing the problem, manage the problem, or be aggressive towards the other person.
A more assertive or adult to adult strategy is called, giving "I" messages. "I" messages are adult to adult communication. They are not intended as smart comebacks, or witty replies. It is wise to not use "I" messages when someone is in a child state, or when they are emotional or otherwise upset. Adult to adult implies that each party will think logically and act rationally.
"I" messages are a very powerful communication tool modeled on T A and taken a step further. There is a basic assumption that most communicators will be adults and will want to be adult communicators. Logic and reason are powerful persuaders, and when used result in significant behavior change and communication improvement. Even young children can learn to use "I" messages. Children can then communicate with other children in a calm manner even when they are upset about something.
The basics of "I" messages are simple. An "I" message comes in three parts. Delivering an "I" message is like following a recipe, at least at the start. Practicing the technique over time will result in being able to deliver messages with ease. But as you learn to use "I" messages it is a good idea to adhere to the following recipe!
So, use the force of the "I" message, but use the script too!
中文翻译
沟通分析
在20世纪60年代，一位名叫埃里克·伯恩的人提出了一种关于沟通的理论，称为沟通分析或简称TA。在他的理论中，伯恩将沟通称为“交易”。这一理论在托马斯·哈里斯所著的《我好，你好》一书中得到了进一步描述。哈里斯在书中使用了一个名为“父母、成人、儿童”沟通的模型来详细阐述伯恩的理论。父母、成人和儿童在此语境下没有其通常的含义。对TA的基本理解可以帮助我们评估沟通，并通过更好地传递成人沟通或“我”信息来改善沟通，这是一种适当且自信的沟通方式，我们稍后会展开讨论。
以下是TA的一个非常简单的解释。
伯恩的TA理论经哈里斯完善后，提出沟通可以分为三种基本类型。
1. 儿童自我状态。这是所有儿童进入世界的基本方式。这种状态包含三个维度：1. 自由儿童，他们喜欢玩乐、好奇并希望被喜欢；2. 叛逆儿童；3. 操纵儿童。
2. 父母自我状态。这基于我们对父母规则和理解的幼稚理解。这种状态有两个部分：1. 批评父母；2. 慈爱和善良的父母。
3. 成人自我状态。这是我们理性的部分。成人自我状态通过收集信息并基于事实做决策来运作。这是一种客观且不带情感的状态。它不是基于生活年限或成熟度的状态。儿童也可以在成人自我状态下运作。
理论认为，我们每个人内部始终存在这三种状态。根据情况，我们从这三种位置中的一种或另一种运作。我们沟通的对象也从这三种状态中的一种运作。有些沟通在状态之间可以很好地工作，而有些则效果差得多。
例如，一个表现出愤怒的人。愤怒很可能来自“儿童”状态。如果你想处理愤怒，可以以“慈爱父母”开始回应愤怒，以快速建立沟通，然后切换到“成人”沟通来完成回应。
以下是这种沟通可能如何运作的示例：
C：（愤怒和叛逆）“我讨厌史密斯太太。她总是给我们比其他老师更多的作业！她认为我们没有其他课程要做作业。”
P：（慈爱、关心和共情）“我知道你的感受。我希望我们这个周末能有更多时间玩耍。但是……”
A：（客观、不带情感）“史密斯太太确实教微积分，这是我上过的最难的课。史密斯太太可能给我们额外作业是因为材料有时很难。”
如果我们图解上述交易，沟通可能看起来像这样。
C：（愤怒和叛逆，但不确定沟通走向）“我讨厌史密斯太太。她总是给我们比其他老师更多的作业。她认为我们没有其他课程要做作业。我从来没有时间给自己。”
P：（慈爱、关心和共情）“我知道你的感受。我希望我们也能有更多时间做对我们重要的事情，但是……”
A：（客观且不带情感）“史密斯太太确实教微积分，这是我上过的最难的课。史密斯太太可能给我们额外作业是因为材料有时很难。”
这种类型的沟通分析（沟通研究）是处理愤怒和其他困难情况的绝佳方式。有时，在与他人打交道时，试图记住你在与谁（APC）沟通可能会令人困惑，因此一个安全的规则是，当不确定时，使用成人对成人的沟通。这几乎永远不会错。即使对方处于父母状态，一个表现得像成人的人也很难与之争论。
有时，他人的行为对我们来说是有问题的。根据我们作为沟通者的类型（被动、自信、攻击性），我们可以选择继续容忍问题、管理问题或对他人采取攻击性。
一种更自信或成人对成人的策略称为给予“我”信息。“我”信息是成人对成人的沟通。它们不旨在作为聪明的回击或机智的回复。当某人处于儿童状态，或当他们情绪化或不安时，明智的做法是不使用“我”信息。成人对成人意味着各方将逻辑思考并理性行动。
“我”信息是一种非常强大的沟通工具，基于TA建模并更进一步。有一个基本假设，即大多数沟通者将是成人，并希望成为成人沟通者。逻辑和理性是强大的说服者，使用时会导致显著的行为改变和沟通改善。即使是年幼的儿童也可以学习使用“我”信息。儿童然后可以以冷静的方式与其他儿童沟通，即使他们对某事感到不安。
“我”信息的基础很简单。一个“我”信息由三部分组成。传递“我”信息就像遵循一个食谱，至少在开始时。随着时间的推移练习这项技术将能够轻松传递信息。但当你学习使用“我”信息时，最好遵循以下食谱！
所以，使用“我”信息的力量，但也使用脚本！
文章概要
本文介绍了沟通分析（TA）理论，由埃里克·伯恩提出，并由托马斯·哈里斯在《我好，你好》一书中发展。TA将沟通分为三种自我状态：儿童自我状态（包括自由、叛逆和操纵维度）、父母自我状态（包括批评和慈爱部分）和成人自我状态（理性、客观）。文章通过示例说明如何在不同状态间切换以处理愤怒等情绪，强调成人自我状态在收集信息和理性决策中的作用，并推广“我”信息作为成人对成人沟通的有效工具，以改善沟通和行为。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容：沟通分析就像我们脑子里有三个小人在说话：一个是像小孩一样想玩或生气的“儿童”，一个是像爸爸妈妈一样批评或照顾的“父母”，还有一个是像科学家一样冷静思考的“成人”。当我们和别人聊天时，这些小人会跳出来，比如生气时“儿童”在说话，我们可以先用“父母”安慰，再用“成人”讲道理。这样沟通会更顺利，就像用“我”信息来平静地表达自己，让大家都开心。
TA沟通分析心理学理论评价：本文精准阐述了沟通分析的核心概念，特别是成人自我状态作为理性决策的基础，这体现了TA理论中自我状态的动态平衡和沟通交易的优化。通过区分儿童、父母和成人状态，文章强调了在沟通中激活成人状态的重要性，以促进客观、事实驱动的互动，这与伯恩和哈里斯理论中追求“我好，你好”的健康关系目标一致。文章还突出了“我”信息作为成人对成人沟通的实践工具，展示了TA理论在提升沟通效能和减少冲突方面的应用潜力，符合理论中强调的自我觉察和状态切换原则。
在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题：1. 政治决策：帮助政治家在复杂议题中保持理性，避免情绪化反应，促进基于事实的政策制定。2. 职场沟通：改善团队协作，减少误解和冲突，提升工作效率。3. 教育领域：教师使用成人状态与学生互动，增强课堂管理，支持学生情绪调节。4. 家庭关系：父母与子女沟通时切换状态，减少争吵，建立和谐家庭氛围。5. 心理咨询：治疗师应用TA分析客户沟通模式，帮助解决人际关系问题。6. 领导力发展：领导者培养成人自我状态，做出明智决策，激励团队。7. 冲突解决：在争议中引导各方使用成人沟通，达成共识。8. 个人成长：个体通过自我状态分析，提升情绪管理和沟通技能。9. 社交互动：在日常交往中应用“我”信息，增强自信和尊重。10. 国际外交：外交官使用成人状态进行谈判，促进和平与合作。