英文原文
Any meditator will tell you to be very cautious about putting the words “ego” and “mindfulness” in the same sentence, unless there’s a negation wedged between them! So it is with great caution that I proceed, acknowledging the spiritual contradiction of working to enhance ego strength while supporting and deepening a mindful spirit. What does it mean to have “ego strength”? It’s a tricky idea, in my opinion, because of rampant narcissism. To have a “strong ego” may imply that somehow my needs are more important than yours. We see this in many ways, some ridiculous (think the recent Kardashian wedding), some mind-boggling (think of athlete’s salaries), and some tragic (think “Penn State football”). But having a strong ego in the narcissistic sense is really a rather weak way to live. The narcissist can only see his/her own situation, has little if any perspective taking skills, and cannot form a true and meaningful relationship. What a way to suffer. Ego strength, on the other hand, refers to being resilient. The resilient person says “I can bend but I won’t break.” The brittle ego is rigid and snaps under pressure; the resilient ego is flexible and adjusts to the ebb and flow of demands. Resilience is a state (“I get it together again after a rough day”) and a trait (“I stay calm, cool, and collected even when things get really rough”). The resilient person bounces back with skill after losing equilibrium (i.e. goes easily from ego depletion to ego replenishment) AND, at times, does not lose equilibrium even in the face of great adversity (i.e. able to sustain ego strength). I love the little boy in the video who says that his sister is screaming, mom is cussing, and he’s meditating! But what’s truly impressive is that with even a little practice, the meditative brain functions differently, in ways that strongly suggest that the mind comes to a state of comfort and ease more readily, even in difficult situations. I hope this series on ego-depletion, ego-replenishment, and ego-resilience has been helpful. I’ve enjoyed going back and reading this literature again, and have taken away several “lessons learned” for myself. First, I’m going to run out of “mental” gas sometimes; accept it, it’s natural. Second, if I can recognize when I’ve run out of gas AND accept it, then I can mindfully decide to “cease and desist” in further activity, and give my mind the rest that it needs. And if resting in that moment isn’t possible, at least I can be mindful in guarding against a total meltdown that might offend or hurt someone I love. Third, I know the antidotes: rest, nutrition, and fun. Fourth, I have a great tool to build up that “mental muscle” so that ego-depletion is minimized. Any activity that allows me to practice self-regulation, no matter how trivial, builds up my strength. Finally, my meditation practice gives me the insight to be aware, accepting, and able to act to replenish and strengthen. And the more I meditate the more my brain is readied to be aware and accepting. The spiritual paradox in this practice of mindful ego-strengthening is that with this resilience comes the realization that what I conceptualize as my “self” is very transient. There’s an abiding “sense of self” but the actual activity of a “self” comes and goes, and changes so easily. As I let go of clinging to this “self” I find something that lasts within, something that is hard to define, but is there through each moment. I don’t know what to call it. I suppose “sense of self” will have to do for now. Perhaps that “sense of self” is transient also; I don’t know. But there’s strength and peace in the realization that I don’t have to cling to an ego that demands that life conform to my perceived needs in this moment. This painful ego state has happened before and will happen again, but it’s not permanent. It has flowed; it will ebb. In that moment I can have clarity that my “sense of self” remains untouched; this painful ego state is not about “me,” whoever or whatever that is.
中文翻译
任何冥想者都会告诉你，要非常小心地将“自我”和“正念”放在同一个句子里，除非中间有否定词！因此，我以极大的谨慎进行，承认在增强自我力量的同时支持和深化正念精神的精神矛盾。拥有“自我力量”意味着什么？在我看来，这是一个棘手的概念，因为自恋泛滥。拥有“强大的自我”可能意味着我的需求比你的更重要。我们在许多方面看到这一点，有些荒谬（想想最近的卡戴珊婚礼），有些令人震惊（想想运动员的薪水），有些悲剧（想想“宾州州立大学橄榄球”）。但从自恋意义上拥有强大的自我，实际上是一种相当脆弱的生活方式。自恋者只能看到他/她自己的情况，几乎没有换位思考能力，无法形成真正有意义的关系。这是一种多么痛苦的活法。另一方面，自我力量指的是具有韧性。有韧性的人说“我可以弯曲但不会折断”。脆弱的自我是僵硬的，在压力下会断裂；有韧性的自我是灵活的，能适应需求的起伏。韧性是一种状态（“在艰难的一天后我重新振作”）和一种特质（“即使事情变得非常艰难，我也保持冷静、镇定和沉着”）。有韧性的人在失去平衡后能熟练地反弹（即从自我耗竭轻松过渡到自我补充），并且有时即使面对巨大逆境也不会失去平衡（即能够维持自我力量）。我喜欢视频中的小男孩，他说他的姐姐在尖叫，妈妈在咒骂，而他在冥想！但真正令人印象深刻的是，即使只有一点练习，冥想的大脑功能也会不同，强烈表明心灵更容易达到舒适和轻松的状态，即使在困难的情况下。我希望这个关于自我耗竭、自我补充和自我韧性的系列文章有所帮助。我很高兴回顾并再次阅读这些文献，并为自己吸取了几个“经验教训”。首先，我有时会耗尽“精神”燃料；接受它，这是自然的。其次，如果我能认识到何时耗尽燃料并接受它，那么我可以正念地决定“停止和放弃”进一步的活动，让我的心灵得到所需的休息。如果那时无法休息，至少我可以正念地防止可能冒犯或伤害我爱的人的全面崩溃。第三，我知道解药：休息、营养和乐趣。第四，我有一个很好的工具来增强“精神肌肉”，从而最小化自我耗竭。任何让我练习自我调节的活动，无论多么微不足道，都能增强我的力量。最后，我的冥想练习让我有洞察力去意识、接受并能够行动以补充和加强。我冥想得越多，我的大脑就越准备好去意识和接受。在这种正念增强自我力量的实践中，精神悖论在于，随着这种韧性而来的是认识到我概念化为“自我”的东西是非常短暂的。有一个持久的“自我感”，但“自我”的实际活动来来去去，变化如此容易。当我放下对这个“自我”的执着时，我发现了内在持久的东西，难以定义，但存在于每一刻。我不知道该称它为什么。我想“自我感”暂时可以。也许那个“自我感”也是短暂的；我不知道。但在认识到我不必执着于一个要求生活符合我此刻感知需求的自我时，有力量和和平。这种痛苦的自我状态以前发生过，还会再次发生，但它不是永久的。它流过；它会退去。在那一刻，我可以清楚地看到我的“自我感”保持不变；这种痛苦的自我状态与“我”无关，无论“我”是谁或是什么。
文章概要
本文探讨了自我力量与正念的关系，强调通过冥想增强自我韧性，以应对压力和生活挑战。文章区分了自恋式的强大自我与真正的自我力量，后者表现为灵活性和恢复力。作者分享了个人经验，指出冥想能帮助大脑在困难情境中保持舒适，并提供实用策略如休息和自我调节来减少自我耗竭。文章还触及了自我感的短暂性，鼓励放下执着，找到内在的持久力量。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容：这篇文章说，自我力量不是要变得自私，而是像橡皮筋一样有弹性，能弯曲但不断裂。通过冥想，我们可以让大脑更放松，即使在吵闹或困难时也能保持冷静。作者分享了自己的经验，比如累了就休息，做点有趣的事来补充能量，这样我们就能更好地应对压力，不轻易崩溃。
TA沟通分析心理学理论评价：从沟通分析心理学角度看，本文强调了成人自我状态在冥想和放松技巧中的应用。作者描述的自我力量增强过程，体现了成人自我状态的理性、适应性和自我调节功能，有助于个体从儿童自我状态或父母自我状态的冲动或批判中过渡，促进更健康的心理互动。这展示了成人自我状态在提升心理弹性和应对压力中的核心作用。
在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题：1. 职场压力管理，帮助员工通过冥想减少自我耗竭，提高工作效率。2. 教育领域，教导学生使用正念技巧增强学习专注力和情绪调节。3. 家庭关系改善，促进成员间更理性的沟通，减少冲突。4. 个人心理健康维护，通过自我调节预防焦虑和抑郁。5. 团队合作优化，培养成员的韧性和适应性，提升协作效果。6. 领导力发展，增强决策时的冷静和清晰度。7. 创伤恢复支持，帮助个体从逆境中反弹，重建自我力量。8. 日常情绪调节，提供工具应对日常压力和挫折。9. 成瘾行为干预，通过正念练习减少冲动控制问题。10. 生活满意度提升，鼓励放下自我执着，找到内在和平和持久幸福感。