英文原文
Transactional Analysis Ego States - Optimum Joy
Do you have a friend or family member who is “stuck in the past” or “stuck in their childhood”? Or do you find yourself regressing to a child-like state in arguments with loved ones? Have you ever said or acted in a way that reminded you of your parents, and it completely blindsided you because it was the most unconscious reaction you had in that moment? If you said yes to any of these, and are curious to understand more, Transactional Analysis is a great, psychoanalytic theory that explains these common phenomena. This blog is an overview.
Transactional Analysis was developed by Eric Berne and has 3 main premises
* The human mind can be divided into 3 ego states named the “Parent,” “Adult,” and “Child.” Ego states describe the psychological mindset you are in, during a particular interaction, event, or “transaction.” Your ego state includes your verbal and nonverbal expressions, behaviors, thoughts, and feelings, which change from state to state., * We relate to others through a series of ‘transactions,’ and these transactions are influenced by the ego state in which we function., * We live our lives according to life scripts and life positions that we are not always conscious of, and that nonetheless dictate our values, passions, and goals.,
In today’s article, we will discuss the first premise, and we will explore future premises in upcoming posts. Let’s dive in!
The Child ego state develops first and includes all the childlike thoughts, feelings, and behaviors you have. It can either be preserved as you grow older, or it can be fixated or stuck in a specific time or place in the past. When you shift to your Child ego state, you begin to think, act, or speak the way you did as a child. The Child ego state can be divided into 2 additional categories The Natural Child or the Adapted Child.
The Natural Child is spontaneous, expressive, self-loving, and inherently hedonistic. It is the version of the child that has not yet been “trained” so-to-speak. It can be fun and carefree, but will also rebel, bully, throw temper tantrums, or go to whatever means necessary to get what it wants. Healthy individuals are able to express the positive qualities of their Natural child instead of stifling or ignoring it.
The Adapted Child is the “trained” version of the child, who is adaptive, compliant, submissive, and obedient. The Adapted Child is who your parents disciplined you to be. The Adapted Child can believe it is inherently “bad” or “damaged” and must seek external validation to be “good.” Operating from this ego state can be helpful if you are taught to exhibit positive traits such as respect, patience, empathy, etc. However, operating from this ego state can be harmful if you are taught to thoughtlessly submit to authority figures or obey orders that are harmful to you or others.
The Parent ego state is based on what you were taught in your early childhood up until you were about five years old. Your experiences are unconsciously internalized and accepted by your brain without you processing, judging or filtering them. Some examples of such events recorded without much thought include, “don’t talk to strangers,” “stay away from hot objects,” and, “always say thank you.” If you are a parent, you are likely to recognize this state in how you parent your own children. Alternatively, you can also recognize this parent state in your young children. The parent state is essentially like the voice of your parents, inside your mind at all times, speaking to you, or speaking through you. The parent ego state can either be a Nurturing Parent or a Critical Parent, depending on the situation.
The Nurturing Parent is loving, kind, and comforting. A common example of young children who operate from their nurturing parent ego state can be seen when they swaddle dolls and sing them lullabies. Operating from the Nurturing Parent ego state can be detrimental if you begin caring for others at your own expense, or if you enable others to depend on you.
The Critical Parent is judgmental, harsh, condemning, and blaming. The critical parent can be the voice in your mind judging you for crying, and telling you to, “stop being so emotional!” If you are operating in your Critical Parent state, you may even display a sour face, creased eyebrows, and crossed arms, or other nonverbal cues your own parents displayed towards you as a child. The critical parent can be helpful in situations where you must determine the right course of action, or the standards of behavior to which you ought to hold yourself and others accountable.
The Adult ego state lives in the “here and now,” and is realistic. It makes logical and rational decisions, and reacts with confidence, calm and attentiveness to the present. It tends to be objective when interpreting and analyzing a situation, and weighs strengths and weaknesses without prejudice. It is the state that allows you to reason and evaluate all stimuli impartially for future use.
When speaking to clients, I have often heard their Adult state say things like, “I know I was being harsh,” “I knew I was overreacting,” “I know my emotions are valid and should not be numbed,” “I know I am capable, even though part of me is terrified,” etc. The Adult state mediates your Parent and Child state. When the adult is strengthened, it allows you to operate in the here-and-now, while shifting in your parent or child states only when appropriate.
Transactional Analysis In Therapy
If you resonate with any of these ego states, and would like to understand how they show up in your life, therapy would be a great place to start! Together we can explore how you shift through these ego states, and how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors change towards yourself and others depending on which state you are operating in. As mentioned above, the goal of therapy is to strengthen your adult state so that you can show up in your relationships, fully present and aware of the ‘here-and-now.’ Of course, functioning from your adult state does not mean dismissing the other ego states. It simply means that you are able to act from the Child or Parent state when appropriate, instead of simply reacting because you are stuck in the past, triggered by unconscious childhood wounds, or repeating your parents’ unhealthy reactions.
If you recognize that your Adult state needs to be strengthened and empowered, I would love to connect with you so we can begin this process together. Please give us a call to schedule an appointment!
中文翻译
沟通分析自我状态 - 最佳喜悦
你是否有朋友或家人“困在过去”或“困在童年”？或者你是否发现自己与亲人争吵时会退回到孩子般的状态？你是否曾说过或做过让你想起父母的事情，而这完全让你措手不及，因为那是你在那一刻最无意识的反应？如果你对其中任何一个回答是肯定的，并且好奇想了解更多，沟通分析是一个很好的精神分析理论，可以解释这些常见现象。这篇博客是一个概述。
沟通分析由埃里克·伯恩发展，有三个主要前提
* 人类思维可以分为三种自我状态，称为“父母”、“成人”和“儿童”。自我状态描述你在特定互动、事件或“交易”中的心理心态。你的自我状态包括你的言语和非言语表达、行为、思想和感受，这些会随着状态而变化。* 我们通过一系列“交易”与他人建立关系，这些交易受到我们运作的自我状态的影响。* 我们根据生活脚本和生活位置生活，这些我们并不总是意识到，但它们却支配着我们的价值观、激情和目标。
在今天的文章中，我们将讨论第一个前提，并在未来的帖子中探讨其他前提。让我们开始吧！
儿童自我状态最先发展，包括你所有的孩子般的想法、感受和行为。它可以随着你年龄增长而保留，也可以固着或困在过去某个特定时间或地点。当你切换到儿童自我状态时，你开始像小时候那样思考、行动或说话。儿童自我状态可以进一步分为两个类别自然儿童或适应儿童。
自然儿童是自发的、表达性的、自爱的，并且本质上是享乐主义的。它是尚未被“训练”的儿童版本。它可能有趣且无忧无虑，但也会反抗、欺凌、发脾气，或采取任何必要手段来得到它想要的。健康的个体能够表达自然儿童的积极品质，而不是压抑或忽视它。
适应儿童是“训练”过的儿童版本，适应性强、顺从、服从和听话。适应儿童是你的父母训练你成为的样子。适应儿童可能相信它本质上是“坏的”或“受损的”，必须寻求外部验证才能“好”。从这个自我状态运作可能有益，如果你被教导表现出积极特质，如尊重、耐心、同理心等。然而，从这个自我状态运作可能有害，如果你被教导盲目服从权威人物或遵守对你自己或他人有害的命令。
父母自我状态基于你在早期童年（大约五岁前）被教导的内容。你的经验被大脑无意识地内化和接受，而你没有处理、判断或过滤它们。一些未经太多思考记录的事件例子包括，“不要和陌生人说话”、“远离热物体”和“总是说谢谢”。如果你是父母，你可能会在你如何养育自己的孩子中认出这种状态。或者，你也可以在你的年幼孩子中认出这种父母状态。父母状态本质上就像你父母的声音，一直在你脑海中，对你说话，或通过你说话。父母自我状态可以是养育父母或批评父母，取决于情况。
养育父母是充满爱心、善良和安慰的。年幼孩子从养育父母自我状态运作的一个常见例子可以在他们包裹娃娃并唱摇篮曲时看到。从养育父母自我状态运作可能有害，如果你开始以牺牲自己为代价照顾他人，或者如果你让他人依赖你。
批评父母是评判性的、严厉的、谴责的和指责的。批评父母可能是你脑海中评判你哭泣的声音，告诉你“别这么情绪化！”如果你在批评父母状态中运作，你甚至可能表现出酸脸、皱眉头和交叉手臂，或其他你父母在你小时候对你表现出的非言语暗示。批评父母在必须确定正确行动方案或行为标准的情况下可能有益，这些标准你应该对自己和他人负责。
成人自我状态生活在“此时此地”，并且是现实的。它做出逻辑和理性的决定，并以自信、冷静和专注的态度对当下做出反应。它在解释和分析情况时倾向于客观，并无偏见地权衡优缺点。它是允许你公正地推理和评估所有刺激以供未来使用的状态。
在与客户交谈时，我经常听到他们的成人状态说这样的话，“我知道我当时很严厉”，“我知道我反应过度了”，“我知道我的情绪是有效的，不应该被麻木”，“我知道我有能力，尽管我的一部分很害怕”，等等。成人状态调解你的父母和儿童状态。当成人状态加强时，它允许你在此时此地运作，同时只在适当时切换到父母或儿童状态。
沟通分析在治疗中
如果你与任何这些自我状态产生共鸣，并想了解它们如何出现在你的生活中，治疗将是一个很好的起点！我们可以一起探索你如何在这些自我状态之间切换，以及你的想法、感受和行为如何根据你运作的状态对自己和他人变化。如上所述，治疗的目标是加强你的成人状态，以便你能够在关系中完全在场并意识到“此时此地”。当然，从成人状态运作并不意味着忽视其他自我状态。它只是意味着你能够在适当时从儿童或父母状态行动，而不是仅仅因为困在过去、被无意识的童年创伤触发或重复父母的不健康反应而做出反应。
如果你认识到你的成人状态需要加强和赋能，我很乐意与你联系，以便我们可以一起开始这个过程。请给我们打电话预约！
文章概要
本文介绍了沟通分析心理学中的自我状态理论，包括父母、成人和儿童三种自我状态。文章详细解释了每种状态的特点和子类别，如自然儿童与适应儿童、养育父母与批评父母，并强调了成人自我状态在现实决策和关系中的核心作用。结合关键词“成人自我状态和拼车安排”，文章暗示了成人状态在协调日常事务如拼车安排中的重要性，通过理性、客观的思维促进有效沟通和问题解决。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容
想象一下，你的大脑里有三个小人在说话。一个是“儿童小人”，它像你小时候一样，想玩就玩，想哭就哭，有时候很调皮。另一个是“父母小人”，它像你的爸爸妈妈，总是告诉你该做什么不该做什么，有时候很温柔，有时候很严厉。最后一个是“成人小人”，它最聪明，活在现在，帮你冷静地做决定，比如安排和朋友们一起拼车上学时，它会算好时间、路线，不让大家吵架。沟通分析就是研究这三个小人怎么影响你的行为和感受的。
TA沟通分析心理学理论评价
从沟通分析心理学理论来看，这篇文章精准地阐述了自我状态的核心概念，特别是成人自我状态在现实生活中的应用价值。文章强调了成人状态作为调解者，在“此时此地”运作，促进逻辑和理性决策，这与伯恩的理论完全一致。在拼车安排等日常事务中，成人状态能够避免儿童状态的冲动或父母状态的刻板，通过客观分析实现高效协调。这种阐述突出了沟通分析在提升个人意识和关系质量方面的潜力，符合理论的实践导向。
在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题。
在实践上，沟通分析自我状态理论可应用于多个领域，如职场沟通、家庭关系、教育辅导和个人成长。针对拼车安排等日常场景，它可以解决人们的十个问题：1. 减少因情绪化反应导致的冲突；2. 提升决策的客观性和效率；3. 改善团队协作中的沟通障碍；4. 帮助个体识别并调整不健康的自我状态模式；5. 增强在压力下的冷静应对能力；6. 促进亲子间的理解与互动；7. 优化时间管理和资源分配；8. 支持个人在关系中保持边界；9. 培养同理心和尊重他人的态度；10. 助力实现长期目标，如建立和谐的社区拼车网络。