英文原文
As you attempt to communicate with another person during a crisis situation, understanding the ego states that you and the other person are in may help you handle the situation more effectively. Through observations made in social settings, researchers have noticed that people will change their posture, viewpoint, voice, vocabulary, and other aspects of their behavior during an activity. As the behavior changes, shifts in feeling also may occur. It is these changes in feelings and behavior that result in three different ego states.
Parent State In this state, your state of mind resembles that of one of your parents. You, therefore, respond as he or she would have with the same posture, gestures, vocabulary, feelings, etc. A person in the parent state wants to control the situation by Establishing rules and setting boundaries, Giving directives, Providing discipline, Being the authority.
Child State In this state, you react as you would have when you were a young boy or girl. A person in the child state responds to a situation by Becoming emotional and getting angry quickly, Following directions or rebelling against authority, Not filtering what he or she says.
Adult State In this state, you review the situation objectively and respond in a non-prejudicial manner. A person in the adult state reacts to a situation by Not dictating to others, Using good judgment instead of emotions to make decisions, Making a careful assessment of the situation, Showing respect for others and being willing to compromise.
The parent and child ego states are not good for verbal negotiation. Here is an example. One person is in the parent state and responds to a situation by getting angry and giving directives. The person says things like, “Don’t do that” or “Do what I say.” The other person is then likely to switch to the child state. The person says things like, “I will if I want to” or “I don’t have to listen to you” or “You can’t make me do that.” The result is that the person in the parent state tends to become even more parental and the person in the child state tends to become more childlike. As this occurs, conflict results. For the best results, you should respond adult to adult when negotiating.
中文翻译
在危机情境中与他人沟通时，理解你和他人的自我状态可能有助于更有效地处理情况。通过社交场合的观察，研究人员注意到人们在活动中会改变姿势、观点、声音、词汇等行为方面。随着行为改变，情感也可能发生变化。正是这些情感和行为的变化导致了三种不同的自我状态。
父母自我状态 在这种状态下，你的心态类似于你父母之一。因此，你会以相同的姿势、手势、词汇、情感等做出回应。处于父母自我状态的人希望通过以下方式控制情境 建立规则和设定界限，发出指令，提供纪律，成为权威。
儿童自我状态 在这种状态下，你的反应就像小时候一样。处于儿童自我状态的人通过以下方式应对情境 变得情绪化并迅速生气，遵循指示或反抗权威，不筛选所说的话。
成人自我状态 在这种状态下，你客观地审视情境并以无偏见的方式回应。处于成人自我状态的人通过以下方式应对情境 不对他人发号施令，使用良好判断而非情感做决策，仔细评估情境，尊重他人并愿意妥协。
父母和儿童自我状态不利于口头谈判。这里有一个例子。一个人处于父母自我状态，通过生气和发出指令来应对情境。这个人会说“不要那样做”或“按我说的做”。另一个人则可能切换到儿童自我状态。这个人会说“我想做就做”或“我不必听你的”或“你不能强迫我那样做”。结果是，处于父母自我状态的人往往变得更像父母，而处于儿童自我状态的人往往变得更像孩子。当这种情况发生时，冲突就产生了。为了获得最佳结果，谈判时应以成人对成人的方式回应。
文章概要
本文介绍了自我状态理论，包括父母、儿童和成人三种自我状态的定义和特征，并强调在谈判中，父母和儿童自我状态容易引发冲突，而成人自我状态通过客观、尊重和妥协的方式，能有效促进沟通和解决争端，特别适用于法律纠纷谈判等情境。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容 想象一下，当你在和别人吵架时，你可能会像爸爸妈妈一样命令别人，或者像小孩子一样耍脾气。但如果你能像大人一样冷静地思考，好好说话，事情就会变得更容易解决。这就是自我状态理论告诉我们的 在谈判中，最好都当“大人”，这样大家才能好好商量，找到双方都满意的办法。
TA沟通分析心理学理论评价 从沟通分析心理学理论来看，这篇文章清晰地阐述了自我状态理论的核心概念。成人自我状态作为理性、客观的沟通模式，在法律纠纷谈判中展现出强大的应用价值。它避免了父母自我状态的权威控制和儿童自我状态的情绪化反应，促进了基于事实和逻辑的对话。这种状态转换能力体现了沟通分析心理学中“自我状态灵活性”的重要性，有助于打破冲突循环，实现共赢。
在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题。 应用领域包括法律纠纷谈判、职场冲突调解、家庭关系改善、教育沟通、心理咨询、团队协作、客户服务、危机干预、社区调解和国际外交。可以解决的问题有 1. 减少谈判中的情绪化对抗；2. 提高沟通效率和清晰度；3. 增强双方尊重和理解；4. 促进妥协和共识达成；5. 降低冲突升级风险；6. 改善人际关系质量；7. 提升决策的客观性；8. 缓解压力和焦虑；9. 培养理性思维习惯；10. 创造和谐的社会环境。