英文原文
My interest in psychology stemmed from my seeking an answer to “Why am I the way I am”. I was questioning my identity, purpose, and searching for my true self when I got introduced to Transactional Analysis (TA). I was drawn to TA due to simplicity of concepts and their practical application in everyday life, sparking my interest to delve deeper, leading me to join TA 101. I felt TA could help me take actions to change behaviors that are no longer serving me. The TA concept that made a huge difference to me was ego states. My recognizing that, what I believed to be Adult was actually Parent or Child state, allowed me to decontaminate and step in more and more into Adult. In this answer I have showcased how I have strengthened my Adult ego state through a systematic process of decontamination, using my TA training. Berne defined an ego state phenomenologically as a coherent system of feelings related to a given subject, operationally as a coherent set of behavioral patterns, or pragmatically as a system of feelings which motivates a related set of behavioral patterns (Berne, 1961, p.17). “The Adult functions as that which seeks connection with current reality, the Parent appears in the likeness of parental figures, and the Child contains remnants from one’s childhood.” (F. Cornell,2016, p.4), I began to examine my thinking in stressful situations and search for contaminations. Berne (1961) defined contamination as: “Contamination is the standardized intrusion of a part of one ego state into another ego state.” Hay (1992) described the same as “material from the Parent or the Child “leaks” into the Adult ego state”. Contamination can be Parent-Adult contamination, where a person thinks of Parent opinion as an Adult fact (Prejudice). (Figure 1.1) In the case of a Child-Adult contamination (Figure 1.2), fearful past experiences are used to act in the here and now (Delusion). In double contamination (Figure 1.3), a person replays parental messages and agrees to them with child belief and confuse both as realities. The view on reality is distorted because content from both Parent and Child are seen as representing the truth. I realized that I have double contaminations in dealing with money and finances related areas. When I was switching my job, I felt discomfort while negotiating salary and settled for a lesser hike. I see similar patterns in other situations like – taking large number targets, dealing with budgeting processes at work, deal pricing, etc., anything associated with money. I feel scared and lacked confidence in handling financial matters. These feelings manifested in the form of – getting into a debt trap, not being able to plan my finances objectively, not being able to spend money wisely, and spending money on anything that is not an absolute necessity. When I started to earn, I never made any investment decisions because I felt I was not good at it. I was afraid of making decisions. I trusted my father to make decisions without asking any questions. I started to evaluate the cause of this behavior through the lens of contamination. I realized how my father’s messages have influenced me and I’m carrying them from my childhood, which are no longer serving me now. The reason why I don’t spend money even if it’s absolutely necessary, and scared of money decisions is because of messages I have received from my father that “We don’t have enough”, and my Child delusion that I may run out of resources. My financial debt amplified the beliefs: “Indeed I don’t have enough”, “I may lose money with my investment decisions” and “I’m afraid of running out of resources.” I was not able to spend money on anything as these messages held me back. “The strategy against contamination— “decontamination”—involves making the boundaries of the Adult ego state more robust, so that decisions made by the Adult are not tainted, distorted, or cropped by either the Child or the Parent.” (F. Cornell, p. 20) With awareness of my contaminations, I decided to engage my Adult more by asking the following questions whenever I felt stuck about money. * What am I feeling now?, * What messages I’m hearing now? What do I believe? How do this help or limit me?, * Where have I learned this from?, * How could I challenge these beliefs?, I’m using above questions to decontaminate my scarcity mindset and fears associated with financial decisions. I am now aware of origin of my scarcity mindset, I’m trying to change it slowly by giving myself proofs like – “I have successfully paid off my debt”, “Resources will not run out overnight, I have saved enough for rainy day”, “I have received help during my financial crisis, so I’ll get some help in the worst case”. The concepts of ego states and contamination helped me to surface unconscious assumptions and assess whether they are appropriate in the here and now. This allows me to replace Parental messages with relevant facts and collect evidence to prove my fears from a Child state are not relevant today. This is strengthening my Adult ego state and I’m starting to trust myself more. Being in an Adult state to me means to overcome the fears that I’ve carried from my childhood and empower myself to face challenges with courage and take responsibility for my actions.
中文翻译
我对心理学的兴趣源于我寻求“为什么我是这样的我”的答案。当我被介绍到沟通分析（TA）时，我正在质疑我的身份、目的，并寻找真实的自我。我被TA吸引是因为其概念的简单性和在日常生活中的实际应用，这激发了我深入探索的兴趣，促使我参加了TA 101课程。我觉得TA可以帮助我采取行动改变那些不再对我有益的行为。对我产生巨大影响的TA概念是自我状态。我认识到，我以为是成人状态的东西实际上是父母或儿童状态，这让我能够净化并越来越多地进入成人状态。在这篇文章中，我展示了如何通过系统的净化过程，利用我的TA培训来强化我的成人自我状态。Berne从现象学上定义自我状态为与给定主题相关的情感连贯系统，从操作上定义为行为模式的连贯集合，或从实用上定义为激发相关行为模式集合的情感系统（Berne, 1961, p.17）。“成人功能是寻求与当前现实连接，父母以父母形象出现，儿童包含童年残留物。”（F. Cornell,2016, p.4），我开始在压力情境中检查我的思维并寻找污染。Berne（1961）将污染定义为：“污染是一个自我状态的一部分标准化地侵入另一个自我状态。”Hay（1992）将其描述为“来自父母或儿童的材料‘泄漏’到成人自我状态”。污染可以是父母-成人污染，即一个人将父母意见视为成人事实（偏见）。（图1.1）在儿童-成人污染的情况下（图1.2），恐惧的过去经历被用来在此时此地行动（妄想）。在双重污染中（图1.3），一个人重放父母信息并用儿童信念同意它们，并将两者混淆为现实。对现实的看法被扭曲，因为来自父母和儿童的内容被视为代表真理。我意识到我在处理金钱和财务相关领域有双重污染。当我换工作时，我在谈判薪水时感到不适，并接受了较低的加薪。我在其他情境中看到类似模式，比如——承担大目标、处理工作中的预算流程、交易定价等，任何与金钱相关的事情。我感到害怕，在处理财务事务时缺乏信心。这些感受表现为——陷入债务陷阱、无法客观规划财务、无法明智花钱、花钱在任何非绝对必要的东西上。当我开始赚钱时，我从未做出任何投资决定，因为我觉得我不擅长。我害怕做决定。我信任我父亲做决定而不问任何问题。我开始通过污染的视角评估这种行为的原因。我意识到我父亲的信息如何影响了我，我从童年就携带它们，现在它们不再对我有益。我即使绝对必要也不花钱、害怕金钱决定的原因，是因为我从父亲那里收到的信息“我们没有足够”，以及我的儿童妄想我可能耗尽资源。我的财务债务放大了这些信念：“确实我没有足够”，“我可能在投资决定中亏钱”和“我害怕耗尽资源”。我无法花钱在任何东西上，因为这些信息阻碍了我。“对抗污染的策略——‘净化’——涉及使成人自我状态的边界更坚固，这样成人做出的决定不会被儿童或父母玷污、扭曲或裁剪。”（F. Cornell, p. 20）意识到我的污染，我决定更多地调动我的成人，每当我在金钱上感到卡住时问以下问题。* 我现在感觉如何？，* 我现在听到什么信息？我相信什么？这如何帮助或限制我？，* 我从哪里学到这个？，* 我如何挑战这些信念？，我使用以上问题来净化我的稀缺心态和与财务决定相关的恐惧。我现在意识到我的稀缺心态的起源，我试图通过给自己证据来慢慢改变它，比如——“我已成功还清债务”，“资源不会一夜耗尽，我已为雨天存够”，“我在财务危机中得到帮助，所以在最坏情况下我会得到一些帮助”。自我状态和污染的概念帮助我浮现无意识假设并评估它们在此时此地是否合适。这让我能够用相关事实替换父母信息，并收集证据证明我来自儿童状态的恐惧今天不相关。这正在强化我的成人自我状态，我开始更信任自己。对我来说，处于成人状态意味着克服我从童年携带的恐惧，并赋予自己勇气面对挑战并为我的行动负责。
文章概要
本文作者Ashwini分享了她在金钱和财务规划中应用TA沟通分析的经历。她通过识别自我状态中的污染（特别是双重污染），如将父亲“我们没有足够”的信息内化为成人事实，导致在薪资谈判、预算处理等财务决策中感到恐惧和缺乏信心。通过净化过程，她使用问题如“我现在感觉如何？”来强化成人自我状态，收集证据挑战稀缺信念，从而逐步建立自信，更客观地处理财务事务。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容：这篇文章讲的是一个人如何用心理学方法处理金钱问题。她发现自己在花钱或做财务决定时总是害怕，就像小时候爸爸说“钱不够”的声音在脑子里响。通过问自己一些问题，比如“我现在感觉怎么样？”和“这想法从哪里来的？”，她慢慢学会区分哪些是真实情况，哪些是旧想法，变得更勇敢和自信。
TA沟通分析心理学理论评价：从TA沟通分析角度看，本文精彩展示了自我状态和污染理论在个人成长中的应用。作者识别出在财务规划中的双重污染，即父母状态（父亲的信息）和儿童状态（恐惧妄想）侵入成人状态，导致决策扭曲。净化过程通过加强成人边界，促进自我觉察和现实检验，体现了TA的核心目标——增强成人自我状态以实现自主和适应性行为。这符合Berne的理论框架，强调通过去污染来恢复成人功能，促进心理健康。
在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题：在实践上，TA沟通分析可应用于个人财务规划、职场决策、情绪管理等领域。它可以解决人们的十个问题，如：1. 在预算制定中克服恐惧感；2. 在薪资谈判中增强自信；3. 处理债务时的焦虑缓解；4. 投资决策中的犹豫不决；5. 日常消费中的冲动控制；6. 财务目标设定中的自我限制；7. 工作压力下的理性应对；8. 家庭财务沟通中的冲突减少；9. 生涯规划中的目标清晰化；10. 自我价值感在金钱事务中的提升。