英文原文
Transactional Analysis Healing And Ego States
The diagram above demonstrates our ego states in further detail. It is more likely that survivors of 'unsafe' care givers who have undergone chronic trauma in childhood without adequate support; will have underdeveloped Free Child and Nurturing Parent Ego states, and spend more time in Controlling Parent or Adapted Child.
They can also intrude on (or in TA terms 'contaminate') the Adult 'here and now' ego state.
This means that problem solving and thinking can be negatively influenced by values and opinions from the Controlling Parent (e.g. Criticism and Judgements) and feelings may be mistaken for facts by the Child (e.g. 'I feel bad so I must be bad').
Critical/Controlling Parent
In your childhood, you received messages from your parents overtly or covertly through their treatment of you and by observing their behaviour.
Children tend to assume blame, believing they have done something to warrant being ignored or abused. They must be 'boring' and 'not good enough' if a parent shows little interest, or 'ungrateful' and 'over-sensitive' when they are upset by their parents actions or inactions. Add to that further gaslighting and invalidation of feelings, and you get dominant CP ego state beliefs and messages. These are like past recordings for critical, blaming self-attacks and judgemental thoughts about ourselves and others.
People with childhood trauma are more likely to have low self esteem, to blame themselves, scare themselves, criticise, and have the attitude that either they are bad, or other people are bad or a mixture of both! They may also hold high expectations of themselves or others which are nearly impossible to live up to. When you are heavily in a CP ego state you may think or use the words ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ a lot, judging yourself and others and being critical to the point of self-cruelty.
(Some aspects in the CP are positive, such as rules to give us protection and safety, ethics and social values; but the ones which hold us back and cause us emotional harm are the ones above.)
Nurturing Parent
Those with CPTSD who experienced unsafe, preoccupied parents, may have little in the way of a NP nurturing parent ego state, reflecting the lack of empathy, caring and warmth they received from their parents.
Nurturing as a child is about growth and caring, and knowing you can safely explore and return. Without a role model for appropriate nurturing it can be hard to care for yourself, and easier to believe the negative messages from the CP. You may neglect your own needs physically and mentally, ignoring how you feel and being cold and invalidating towards yourself.
That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve better! It is just what you are used to.
Even though it may feel like you are breaking a rule or that you really don’t deserve love, care and affection, you can now do things differently for yourself and have the power to take care of those important needs and change the narrative.
Adapted Child
The Adapted Child is adapting to their parent's treatment and behaviour towards them. They take on often limiting roles such as; Carer (parentified child), therapist, scapegoat, peacekeeper, caretaker, family hero (perfect, strong, high achiever in sports or academically), family joker, unwell, lost or 'bad' child. Not allowed to be an autonomous individual, they are rather a part of maintaining the family dysfunction and co-dependency so that parents don't have to change or examine their behaviours.
Dissociation or daydreaming, withdrawal, self-harm, and numbing are just some of the coping mechanisms that were developed in the AC.
The AC ego state is the young part of us that has learnt to adapt to a traumatic and stressful childhood. It craves safety and belonging and often wants to fit in desperately and not be rejected.
The AC has learnt creative and clever ways to survive intense overwhelming feelings and work out ways to get its needs met, whether that means getting attention for being ‘perfect’, being passive and conforming or getting attention for 'acting out'.
Any attention is better than none, unless it was safer to be invisible in your home. In that case you may still being afraid of being seen or attracting attention which means now you may be ignored or isolated.
Free Child
The Free Child is the ego state that has fun, likes to be close to others and is creative and spontaneous. It likes to play and be silly, indulge and be itself, unafraid of what others think.
The FC likes adventure and doing new things to get new experiences. It is joyful and loving and can act without thinking about the consequences which can be a positive or negative attribute.
When we have healthy and nurturing boundaries (e.g. rules and life skills) and our parents can model and encourage pleasure and fun (using their own Free Child ego states), the Free Child is allowed to develop and allow us to have fun and excitement without recklessness.
What You Need To Be Aware Of:
Controlling, Critical Parent keeping you stuck and holding you back
The Adapted Child who adapted to your parents and wants to protect you from further pain but keeps you feeling powerless and unhappy
HOW
* Awareness of your thinking and beliefs. Challenge unhealthy messages, * Ask if it is still true now and was it ever true?, * Whose voice do you hear when you are self-critical? Are you continuing the bad treatment by accepting what you think as fact?, * What are you trying to protect yourself from or avoid?, * Are you underestimating your abilities and overestimating negative predictions?, * Are you living to a script/narrative you were given or by decisions you made when you were very small?, * Educate yourself with self-help books about narcissistic/abusive/neglectful parents, * Talk to a therapist - Seek professional help, * Use CBT techniques and worksheets to challenge negative thinking and beliefs, * Strengthen boundaries, learn assertiveness skills, build your self-esteem and confidence, * Remind yourself you are not small and helpless anymore, you have choices and it is okay to have needs and feelings and express them, * Praise yourself more, shrink that critical voice, * If you parents didn't appreciate you, there was something wrong with them, not you!, * What is your frame of reference? Can you re-frame your thoughts?, * Do you have similar experiences and situations with different people that are replays of experiences with your parents? Are you still in the family role in your current relationships?, * Practice mindfulness and observe your thoughts rather than reacting to them as facts,
What You Need More Of -
Being a Nurturing Parent to yourself, loving and caring for your Free Child with new permissions and ways of thinking and behaving that allow freedom and choice.
HOW
* Practice Self-care, walks, massages, baths, nice food etc., * Set healthy boundaries, * Reassure yourself instead of catastrophizing, * Make time for fun and relaxation, * Encourage yourself to try new things, * Make it safe for you to get things wrong, recognise when you are criticising yourself or expecting too much, * Be gentle with yourself if you are finding something difficult. You may be reacting to the past or your fight, flight and freeze response goes off. This is not your fault, it is normal, * Allow yourself to be close to others and be seen, * Ask for what you need, * Grounding techniques, walking in nature, breathing exercises, * Feel your body, use somatic exercises, yoga, reiki and progressive muscle relaxation, * Treat yourself, and listen to what your inner child is communicating in your body and emotions, * Give the shame back - don't carry what other people refuse to be responsible for, * Trust yourself and allow yourself to break out of limited roles and re-discover yourself, * Allow feelings to be there without criticism and judgement, * It's okay to be excited!, * Express yourself creatively or messily, writing, drawing, painting, get a hobby, buy some toys and games or lego, * What are alternatives to the scenarios you worry about when socialising? Are you really being looked at? Do they really care? Does it matter?, * Be the mum or dad you needed as a child, patient and kind, caring and safeEllie-Ren January 8th 2025,
Next - TA Life Positions and CPTSD
Back - Introducing TA and CPTSD
中文翻译
沟通分析治疗与自我状态
上图更详细地展示了我们的自我状态。那些童年经历慢性创伤且缺乏足够支持的“不安全”照顾者的幸存者，更可能发展不足的自由儿童和养育父母自我状态，并更多时间处于控制父母或适应儿童状态。
它们也可能侵入（或用TA术语“污染”）成人“此时此地”自我状态。
这意味着问题解决和思考可能受到控制父母价值观和意见（如批评和评判）的负面影响，而儿童可能将感受误认为事实（如“我感觉不好所以我一定不好”）。
批判/控制父母
在你的童年，你通过父母对你的对待和观察他们的行为，公开或隐蔽地接收信息。
孩子倾向于承担责备，相信他们做了什么事值得被忽视或虐待。如果父母表现出很少兴趣，他们一定是“无聊”和“不够好”，或者当他们因父母的行为或不作为而难过时，他们是“忘恩负义”和“过度敏感”。再加上进一步的煤气灯效应和感受无效化，你就得到了主导的CP自我状态信念和信息。这些就像过去的录音，用于批判、责备自我攻击和对自己及他人的评判性想法。
童年创伤的人更可能有低自尊、责备自己、吓唬自己、批评，并持有态度认为要么他们不好，要么别人不好，或两者混合！他们也可能对自己或他人持有几乎不可能达到的高期望。当你严重处于CP自我状态时，你可能经常想或用“应该”或“不应该”这些词，评判自己和他人，批评到自我残忍的程度。
（CP中的某些方面是积极的，如给予我们保护和安全的规则、伦理和社会价值观；但那些阻碍我们并造成情感伤害的是上述那些。）
养育父母
那些经历不安全、心不在焉父母的CPTSD患者，可能很少有NP养育父母自我状态，反映了他们从父母那里缺乏的共情、关怀和温暖。
作为孩子的养育是关于成长和关怀，知道你可以安全探索并返回。没有适当的养育榜样，很难照顾自己，更容易相信来自CP的负面信息。你可能忽视自己的身心需求，忽略你的感受，对自己冷漠和无效化。
那并不意味着你不值得更好！这只是你习惯的。
即使可能感觉你在打破规则或你真的不值得爱、关怀和情感，你现在可以为自己做不同的事情，并有能力照顾那些重要需求并改变叙述。
适应儿童
适应儿童是适应父母对他们的对待和行为。他们承担通常限制性的角色，如照顾者（父母化的孩子）、治疗师、替罪羊、和平维护者、看护者、家庭英雄（完美、强壮、在体育或学术上高成就）、家庭小丑、生病、迷失或“坏”孩子。不允许成为自主个体，他们反而是维持家庭功能障碍和相互依赖的一部分，以便父母不必改变或检查他们的行为。
解离或白日梦、退缩、自残和麻木只是AC中发展的一些应对机制。
AC自我状态是我们年轻的部分，学会了适应创伤和压力的童年。它渴望安全和归属，经常拼命想融入并不被拒绝。
AC学会了创造性和聪明的方式来生存强烈的压倒性感受，并找出满足需求的方法，无论是通过“完美”获得关注、被动和顺从，还是通过“行为出格”获得关注。
任何关注都比没有好，除非在你家里隐形更安全。在那种情况下，你可能仍然害怕被看到或吸引注意，这意味着现在你可能被忽视或孤立。
自由儿童
自由儿童是那个有乐趣、喜欢接近他人、有创造性和自发性的自我状态。它喜欢玩耍和傻气、放纵和做自己，不害怕别人怎么想。
FC喜欢冒险和做新事物以获得新体验。它是快乐和有爱的，可以行动而不考虑后果，这可能是一个积极或消极的属性。
当我们有健康和养育的边界（如规则和生活技能）且我们的父母可以示范和鼓励快乐和乐趣（使用他们自己的自由儿童自我状态）时，自由儿童被允许发展并让我们有乐趣和兴奋而不鲁莽。
你需要意识到的：
控制、批判父母让你卡住并阻碍你
适应儿童适应了你的父母并想保护你免受更多痛苦但让你感到无力和不快乐
如何
* 意识你的思维和信念。挑战不健康信息，* 问它现在仍然真实吗？它曾经真实过吗？，* 当你自我批判时你听到谁的声音？你通过接受你所想为事实来继续坏对待吗？，* 你试图保护自己免受什么或避免什么？，* 你低估了你的能力并高估了负面预测吗？，* 你生活在被给予的剧本/叙述或你很小的时候做出的决定中吗？，* 用关于自恋/虐待/忽视父母的自助书籍教育自己，* 与治疗师交谈 - 寻求专业帮助，* 使用CBT技术和工作表挑战负面思维和信念，* 加强边界，学习自信技能，建立自尊和信心，* 提醒自己你不再小而无助，你有选择，有需求和感受并表达它们是好的，* 更多赞美自己，缩小那个批判声音，* 如果你父母不欣赏你，是他们有问题，不是你！，* 你的参考框架是什么？你能重新框架你的想法吗？，* 你与不同人有类似经历和情况，是你与父母经历的重演吗？你在当前关系中仍然处于家庭角色吗？，* 练习正念并观察你的想法而不是对它们作为事实反应，
你需要更多的 -
成为你自己的养育父母，用新的许可和允许自由和选择的思维和行为方式爱和关怀你的自由儿童。
如何
* 练习自我照顾，散步、按摩、洗澡、美食等，* 设定健康边界，* 安抚自己而不是灾难化，* 为乐趣和放松腾出时间，* 鼓励自己尝试新事物，* 让你犯错安全，识别当你批评自己或期望太多时，* 如果你发现某事困难，对自己温柔。你可能在对过去反应或你的战斗、逃跑和冻结反应触发。这不是你的错，这是正常的，* 允许自己接近他人并被看到，* 要求你需要的，* 接地技术，在自然中散步，呼吸练习，* 感受你的身体，使用身体练习、瑜伽、灵气和渐进肌肉放松，* 对待自己，并倾听你内在儿童在你的身体和情感中传达什么，* 归还羞耻 - 不要承担别人拒绝负责的，* 信任自己并允许自己打破限制性角色并重新发现自己，* 允许感受存在而不批评和评判，* 兴奋是可以的！，* 创造性地或混乱地表达自己，写作、绘画、画画，找个爱好，买些玩具和游戏或乐高，* 当你社交时担心的场景有什么替代方案？你真的被看着吗？他们真的在乎吗？这重要吗？，* 成为你童年需要的妈妈或爸爸，耐心和善良，关怀和安全Ellie-Ren 2025年1月8日，
下一篇 - TA生活位置和CPTSD
上一篇 - 介绍TA和CPTSD
文章概要
本文基于沟通分析心理学理论，探讨了童年创伤如何影响自我状态的发展，特别是控制父母、养育父母、适应儿童和自由儿童状态。文章指出，不安全照顾者的幸存者可能发展不足的自由儿童和养育父母状态，更多时间处于控制父母或适应儿童状态，这些状态可能污染成人自我状态，影响问题解决和思维。文章详细描述了各自我状态的特点，如控制父母的批判性、养育父母的缺乏、适应儿童的适应机制和自由儿童的乐趣性，并提供了意识方法和实践建议，如挑战负面信念、加强边界、自我照顾和重新发现自我，以促进愈合和成长。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容：这篇文章就像在说，我们心里有几个不同的小人儿。如果你小时候爸妈对你不好或者不理你，你可能有一个总在批评你的小人儿（控制父母），或者一个不知道怎么照顾自己的小人儿（养育父母），还有一个为了适应爸妈而变得很乖或很闹的小人儿（适应儿童），但那个喜欢玩和开心的小人儿（自由儿童）可能没长大。这些小人儿会影响你现在怎么想事情和解决问题。文章教你如何认出这些小人儿，比如当你想“我应该”或“我不够好”时，就是批评小人在说话，你可以练习对自己好一点，像当自己的好爸妈，多玩多尝试新东西，让自己更快乐。
TA沟通分析心理学理论评价：本文深入应用了沟通分析心理学的自我状态理论，特别是伯恩的自我状态模型，包括父母、成人和儿童状态。文章精准分析了童年创伤如何导致自我状态发展不平衡，如控制父母和适应儿童的过度活跃，以及自由儿童和养育父母的不足，这符合TA理论中关于早期脚本和污染的概念。文章强调了自我状态之间的相互作用和污染现象，如控制父母和适应儿童对成人状态的侵入，这影响了理性思维和情感处理。通过提供具体策略如意识提升和边界设定，文章展示了TA理论在促进自我觉察和状态整合方面的实用性，有助于读者理解并调整内在对话，实现更健康的心理功能。
在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题：在实践上，本文内容可应用于心理咨询、个人成长、创伤康复和日常情绪管理领域。它可以解决人们的十个问题：1. 帮助识别和减少自我批判思维，提升自尊；2. 改善童年创伤导致的低自我价值感；3. 增强自我照顾能力，减少忽视自身需求；4. 促进情感表达和接纳，减少情感压抑；5. 加强边界设定，改善人际关系；6. 鼓励尝试新活动和爱好，增加生活乐趣；7. 缓解社交焦虑和孤立感；8. 支持从家庭角色中解脱，发展自主性；9. 提升问题解决能力，减少决策困难；10. 培养正念和自我觉察，减少自动化负面反应。