英文原文
Any meditator will tell you to be very cautious about putting the words “ego” and “mindfulness” in the same sentence, unless there’s a negation wedged between them! So it is with great caution that I proceed, acknowledging the spiritual contradiction of working to enhance ego strength while supporting and deepening a mindful spirit. What does it mean to have “ego strength”? It’s a tricky idea, in my opinion, because of rampant narcissism. To have a “strong ego” may imply that somehow my needs are more important than yours. We see this in many ways, some ridiculous (think the recent Kardashian wedding), some mind-boggling (think of athlete’s salaries), and some tragic (think “Penn State football”). But having a strong ego in the narcissistic sense is really a rather weak way to live. The narcissist can only see his/her own situation, has little if any perspective taking skills, and cannot form a true and meaningful relationship. What a way to suffer. Ego strength, on the other hand, refers to being resilient. The resilient person says “I can bend but I won’t break.” The brittle ego is rigid and snaps under pressure; the resilient ego is flexible and adjusts to the ebb and flow of demands. Resilience is a state (“I get it together again after a rough day”) and a trait (“I stay calm, cool, and collected even when things get really rough”). The resilient person bounces back with skill after losing equilibrium (i.e. goes easily from ego depletion to ego replenishment) AND, at times, does not lose equilibrium even in the face of great adversity (i.e. able to sustain ego strength). I love the little boy in the video who says that his sister is screaming, mom is cussing, and he’s meditating! But what’s truly impressive is that with even a little practice, the meditative brain functions differently, in ways that strongly suggest that the mind comes to a state of comfort and ease more readily, even in difficult situations. I hope this series on ego-depletion, ego-replenishment, and ego-resilience has been helpful. I’ve enjoyed going back and reading this literature again, and have taken away several “lessons learned” for myself. First, I’m going to run out of “mental” gas sometimes; accept it, it’s natural. Second, if I can recognize when I’ve run out of gas AND accept it, then I can mindfully decide to “cease and desist” in further activity, and give my mind the rest that it needs. And if resting in that moment isn’t possible, at least I can be mindful in guarding against a total meltdown that might offend or hurt someone I love. Third, I know the antidotes: rest, nutrition, and fun. Fourth, I have a great tool to build up that “mental muscle” so that ego-depletion is minimized. Any activity that allows me to practice self-regulation, no matter how trivial, builds up my strength. Finally, my meditation practice gives me the insight to be aware, accepting, and able to act to replenish and strengthen. And the more I meditate the more my brain is readied to be aware and accepting. The spiritual paradox in this practice of mindful ego-strengthening is that with this resilience comes the realization that what I conceptualize as my “self” is very transient. There’s an abiding “sense of self” but the actual activity of a “self” comes and goes, and changes so easily. As I let go of clinging to this “self” I find something that lasts within, something that is hard to define, but is there through each moment. I don’t know what to call it. I suppose “sense of self” will have to do for now. Perhaps that “sense of self” is transient also; I don’t know. But there’s strength and peace in the realization that I don’t have to cling to an ego that demands that life conform to my perceived needs in this moment. This painful ego state has happened before and will happen again, but it’s not permanent. It has flowed; it will ebb. In that moment I can have clarity that my “sense of self” remains untouched; this painful ego state is not about “me,” whoever or whatever that is.
中文翻译
任何冥想者都会告诉你，要非常小心地将“自我”和“正念”这两个词放在同一个句子里，除非它们之间有一个否定词！因此，我以极大的谨慎进行，承认在增强自我力量的同时支持和深化正念精神的精神矛盾。拥有“自我力量”意味着什么？在我看来，这是一个棘手的概念，因为自恋泛滥。拥有“强大的自我”可能意味着我的需求比你的更重要。我们在许多方面看到这一点，有些荒谬（想想最近的卡戴珊婚礼），有些令人难以置信（想想运动员的薪水），有些悲惨（想想“宾州州立大学橄榄球”）。但从自恋意义上拥有强大的自我实际上是一种相当脆弱的生活方式。自恋者只能看到他/她自己的情况，几乎没有换位思考的能力，也无法形成真正有意义的关系。这是一种多么痛苦的生存方式。另一方面，自我力量指的是具有韧性。有韧性的人说“我可以弯曲，但不会折断”。脆弱的自我是僵硬的，在压力下会断裂；有韧性的自我是灵活的，能够适应需求的起伏。韧性是一种状态（“在艰难的一天后我重新振作起来”）和一种特质（“即使事情变得非常艰难，我也保持冷静、镇定和沉着”）。有韧性的人在失去平衡后能够熟练地恢复（即从自我耗竭轻松过渡到自我补充），并且有时即使面对巨大逆境也不会失去平衡（即能够维持自我力量）。我喜欢视频中的小男孩，他说他的姐姐在尖叫，妈妈在骂人，而他在冥想！但真正令人印象深刻的是，即使只有一点练习，冥想的大脑功能也会不同，强烈表明心灵更容易进入舒适和轻松的状态，即使在困难的情况下也是如此。我希望这个关于自我耗竭、自我补充和自我韧性的系列文章有所帮助。我很高兴重新阅读这些文献，并为自己总结了几点“经验教训”。首先，我有时会耗尽“精神”燃料；接受它，这是自然的。其次，如果我能认识到何时耗尽燃料并接受它，那么我可以正念地决定“停止和放弃”进一步的活动，让我的大脑得到所需的休息。如果当时无法休息，至少我可以正念地防止完全崩溃，以免冒犯或伤害我爱的人。第三，我知道解药：休息、营养和乐趣。第四，我有一个很好的工具来建立“精神肌肉”，从而最小化自我耗竭。任何允许我练习自我调节的活动，无论多么微不足道，都能增强我的力量。最后，我的冥想练习让我有洞察力去意识、接受并能够行动以补充和加强。我冥想得越多，我的大脑就越准备好去意识和接受。在这种正念增强自我的实践中，精神悖论在于，随着这种韧性而来的是认识到我所概念化的“自我”是非常短暂的。有一种持久的“自我感”，但“自我”的实际活动来来去去，变化如此容易。当我放下对这个“自我”的执着时，我发现内心有一些持久的东西，一些难以定义的东西，但它在每一刻都存在。我不知道该叫它什么。我想“自我感”暂时可以。也许那个“自我感”也是短暂的；我不知道。但在认识到我不必执着于一个要求生活符合我当前感知需求的自我时，有力量和和平。这种痛苦的自我状态以前发生过，以后还会发生，但它不是永久的。它流动过；它会消退。在那一刻，我可以清楚地认识到我的“自我感”保持不变；这种痛苦的自我状态与“我”无关，无论“我”是谁或是什么。
文章概要
本文探讨了自我力量与正念之间的关系，区分了自恋式的自我强大与韧性自我力量。文章指出，真正的自我力量体现在韧性上，即能够灵活应对压力、从耗竭中恢复并维持平衡。通过冥想等放松技巧，可以增强这种韧性，帮助个体在困难情境中保持冷静和舒适。作者分享了个人经验，强调接受自我耗竭、练习自我调节和冥想的重要性，以实现自我补充和加强。文章还触及了自我感的短暂性，鼓励放下对自我的执着，找到内在的持久力量。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容：这篇文章就像在说，我们心里有一个“自我”，它有时候会变得很脆弱，就像气球一样容易破。但如果我们学会像冥想那样放松，这个“自我”就能变得更有弹性，像橡皮筋一样可以拉长又弹回来，不容易断掉。这样，即使遇到困难，我们也能保持冷静，不会轻易生气或难过。
TA沟通分析心理学理论评价：从沟通分析心理学角度看，文章中的“自我力量”和“韧性”与成人自我状态密切相关。成人自我状态是理性、客观和适应性的部分，能够处理现实问题并做出明智决策。文章强调通过冥想增强韧性，这实际上是在强化成人自我状态的功能，使其在面对压力时不被儿童自我状态（如情绪化反应）或父母自我状态（如僵化规则）所主导。这种实践有助于个体在沟通中保持平衡，减少自我耗竭，促进健康的人际互动。
在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题：1. 职场压力管理，帮助员工在高压工作中保持冷静和效率。2. 教育领域，支持学生在考试或社交压力下维持心理平衡。3. 家庭关系，减少因情绪爆发导致的冲突，促进和谐沟通。4. 个人成长，增强自我调节能力，提升生活满意度。5. 心理健康干预，辅助治疗焦虑和抑郁症状。6. 团队建设，培养团队成员的韧性和协作精神。7. 领导力发展，帮助领导者做出理性决策并激励团队。8. 冲突解决，在争执中保持客观，找到双赢方案。9. 成瘾康复，支持个体在戒断过程中维持自我控制。10. 日常情绪调节，帮助人们在生活中应对小挫折，保持积极心态。