英文原文
This week I was lucky enough to hear Dr Aaron Balick speak on the 'Psychodynamics of Social Media' (the title of his latest book). Listening to him speak about the psychosocial impact that social networks have upon us raised a lot of interesting thoughts for me. Somewhat disturbingly, most of what he was saying rang true of my online behaviours and I began to really consider how comfortable I was with the advent of Social Media and its prevalence in our lives. You will no doubt have heard the acronym WYSIWYG - What you see is what you get right? But as we all know too well, this is often not the case online, we carefully pick and choose which parts of ourselves to curate online, and different Social Networks are designed to bring out different sides of us. LinkedIn brings out our Super Ego, our very polished outward reflecting self. Facebook beings out our Ego - less polished sense of self but still a curated part of us that needs validation. Silk Road (the dark web) due to its anonymity brings our our ID - this is our true nature that we often hide from the world. Our sense of self (our ego) draws on a sense of recognition and authentic understanding from others. We have a very strong will to relate to others to validate ourselves. Take a selfie for example (the Oxford English Dictionary word of the year 2015), its sole purpose is for self validation. Online we are 'curators' of our own lives... picking and choosing what to display, the 'selfie' is often one picture chosen of many to be shown to the world for appreciation and validity, but it is not the seemingly random, off the cuff shot that it is made out to be. But don't we all have online persona's? Is it really such a bad thing to show off some of our best bits online, and to like the likes a little bit? It is not that it is bad to have an online persona or even to have many different personas, but it is when we buy into this person as our true self and start to ignore the rest of ourselves that we enter the danger zone. 'Acting' through persons is often a necessity to avoid danger and hurt, we can't be all of ourselves all of the time, but we often focus on our false self as it recieves validation repeatedly, and so we can loose sight of our real self. We have to be able to ensure that we can act through our personas when it is necissary and be our real selves in balance, too much persona makes for a needy self absorbed person (I am sure we all know a few of these, those friends whose actions seem soley for validation rather than for true enjoyment). So stop and consider for a moment, how much of yourself is online? What specific parts of you are online? Have you carefully chosen these? How much do you believe what other people post online? Are we loosing ourselves... and others? Empathy. Social media has created the phenomenon Dr Balick referes to as Tenderisation... the objectification of people. People are now easier to pick up and drop at will and empathy is dwindling, much like the way we swipe away people on tinder, we no longer see people as who they are but a small curated version of them, an 'object'. Is this healthy to objectify people in this way? How do we change this behaviour? Today it has been seen increasingly that we share first and think next, where will this need to share end? The objective today is to post something and get likes, but at what cost to humanity? Take the example of celebrity Amy Schumer, a fan asked for photograph and Amy said no, to which the fan replied that they owned and made her so she had to? This mentality is disturbing, that anyone can ever own someone. The will to share and receive validation for our content is overpowering our empathy and humanity, teens are taking selfies at funerals, people are photographing drowned children. Online etiquette, manners, ethics and empath must be taught to the younger generation (and probably most of the older too) if we are to salvage a bit of compassion. Notification Anxiety. The advent of the smartphone has shifted everything and we now we have access to technology and Social Media in our pockets 24/7. This has had a huge impact on our anxiety and stress levles and our ability to turn off and relax. We all suffer to some degree from notification anxiety, we become addicted to the gratification we get from people engaging with us, and so we are compelled to check our notifications immediately to get the next 'hit'. Basically, we like the likes. We need to train ourselves to have an active relationship with our technology, making sure that we are driving how we use it and not letting it use us. Try turning off wifi and notifications and only engage with technology when it beneficial to you. We are still groping in the dark a little with new platforms such as Social Media... it has all come about very quickly and we have grasped it with both hands, but that is not to say we are using it most wisely. When I considered turning off the notifications on my phone I realised that I was mostly concerned about the way this would effect others who were trying to contact me and not if it would inconvenience me. This struck me as totally irrational as the reason that we have a phone is for our own convenience not for the convenience of others. Grieving / Moving on. Alongside notification anxiety and loss of empathy it seems we are also forgetting how to move on and to grieve, Freud wrote a paper detailing the difference between mourning and melancholy - mourning, when we grieve, we are able to let go, melancholy however is our obsessive depressive state of hanging on. Previously, online profiles didn't exist and they have changed the mourning and grieving process we go through. When we used to lose a person and they were gone, now we can hold onto a memory though their whole online persona. How good is this for our grieving process? Even in terms of moving on from relationships, we have access to our exes profiles and often we struggle to let go now, we can't get a clean break from the past anymore as it is very easy to cling to. Is this actually stunning our own growth by not moving on? We should be aware of these kinds of behaviours so we can monitor their impact. Future Considerations. So taking all of the above into consideration it is important to think about how the sites we interact with daily are architected. How do we architect an experience both imaginatively and psychosocially? Facebook is inviting to our egos, what can be done to build on this? What will come next? Will technology become more strongly linked with our inner psychology? When will this be seen as a step too far? Who is responsible for considering the ethics of developing manipulative tech? And what will the growing number of these types of platforms mean for future generations psychosocial development? Will we lose empathy and inter-relational skills? Between the ages of 2-4 we are most effected in terms of our psychological development, increasingly parents of this age group are handing them iPads and other technology to keep them busy, we should really start to consider the effect this is going to have as these children grow up. Our relationship with technology should be like our relationship with McDonalds, we know it is there and we do kind of love it, but we know when enough is enough. We only engage with it occasionally. With technology this is a little more challenging as with McDonalds we have to take ourselves there but with tech it is sitting in our pockets waiting for us all of the time. We need to consider how to develop technology that ENHANCES our lives rather than ENGULFS them. A Quick Experiment. If you want a quick and easy over view of how much time you spend in Social Apps try out this iPhone battery experiment (I am sure you can do the same in an android device somewhere too). Go to settings on your iPhone, and then go to battery, if you click on the little clock icon and choose your time period, you will be able to see the time in hours and minutes that you were using that app. I was in a bit of a state of shock at spending 3.7 hours actively on WhatsApp and 1.4 hours on Facebook.
中文翻译
本周，我有幸聆听了亚伦·巴利克博士关于“社交媒体的心理动力学”（他最新著作的标题）的演讲。听他讲述社交网络对我们的社会心理影响，引发了我许多有趣的思考。有些令人不安的是，他所说的大部分内容都与我的在线行为不谋而合，我开始真正思考，面对社交媒体的出现及其在我们生活中的普遍存在，我到底有多安然。你无疑听说过“所见即所得”（WYSIWYG）这个缩写，对吧？但我们都心知肚明，在网络上情况往往并非如此。我们精心挑选和策划要在网上展示的自我部分，而不同的社交网络旨在引出我们不同的侧面。领英（LinkedIn）展现了我们的超我（Super Ego），即那个非常光鲜、向外展示的自我。脸书（Facebook）展现了我们的自我（Ego）——一个不那么光鲜的自我意识，但仍是我们精心策划并需要验证的一部分。丝绸之路（暗网）由于其匿名性，则带出了我们的本我（ID）——这是我们常常向世界隐藏的真实本性。我们的自我感（ego）依赖于他人的认可和真实的理解。我们有强烈的意愿与他人建立联系以验证自己。以自拍为例（2015年牛津英语词典年度词汇），其唯一目的就是自我验证。在网上，我们是自己生活的“策展人”……挑选要展示的内容，而“自拍”通常是从众多照片中挑选出一张，向世界展示以求得欣赏和认可，但它并非看起来那般随意、即兴的抓拍。但我们不都有网络人设吗？在网上展示一些自己最好的一面，并稍微喜欢一下那些“赞”，真的那么糟糕吗？拥有网络人设，甚至拥有多个不同的人设，本身并不坏，但当我们把这个人设当作真实的自我，并开始忽视我们其余的部分时，我们就进入了危险区。通过人设“表演”通常是避免危险和伤害的必要手段，我们不可能时时刻刻都展现全部的自我，但我们常常专注于那个虚假的自我，因为它反复获得验证，于是我们可能会迷失真实的自我。我们必须确保在必要时能通过人设行事，并与真实的自我保持平衡。过多的人设会造就一个需索无度、自我中心的人（我相信我们都认识几个这样的人，他们的行为似乎完全是为了获得验证，而非真正的享受）。所以，停下来想一想：你在网上的自我是多少？你在线上的具体是哪些部分？你是否精心选择了这些？你对别人在网上发布的内容相信多少？我们是否正在失去自己……以及他人？同理心。社交媒体创造了巴利克博士所说的“柔嫩化”（Tenderisation）现象……即人的物化。人们现在更容易被随意拾起和抛弃，同理心正在减少，就像我们在Tinder上划掉别人一样，我们不再将人视为他们本来的样子，而是一个被精心策划的微小版本，一个“物体”。以这种方式物化他人健康吗？我们如何改变这种行为？如今，我们越来越多地看到人们先分享后思考，这种分享的需求将止于何处？今天的目标是发布内容并获得点赞，但这对人性的代价是什么？以名人艾米·舒默为例，一位粉丝要求合影，艾米拒绝了，粉丝却回答说他们拥有并造就了她，所以她必须同意。这种心态令人不安，认为任何人可以拥有另一个人。分享和为内容获得验证的意愿正在压倒我们的同理心和人性，青少年在葬礼上自拍，人们拍摄溺亡儿童的照片。如果我们要挽救一丝同情心，就必须向年轻一代（可能也包括大多数年长者）教授网络礼仪、举止、道德和同理心。通知焦虑。智能手机的出现改变了一切，我们现在可以7天24小时随时随地接触到技术和社交媒体。这对我们的焦虑和压力水平，以及我们关闭和放松的能力产生了巨大影响。我们都在某种程度上遭受着通知焦虑的困扰，我们对与他人互动所获得的满足感上瘾，因此我们被迫立即查看通知以获得下一次“快感”。基本上，我们喜欢点赞。我们需要训练自己与技术建立一种主动的关系，确保是我们主导如何使用它，而不是让它使用我们。尝试关闭Wi-Fi和通知，只在对你有益时才接触技术。对于社交媒体这样的新平台，我们仍在黑暗中摸索……它发展得非常迅速，我们双手紧紧抓住了它，但这并不意味着我们正在最明智地使用它。当我考虑关闭手机通知时，我意识到我主要担心的是这会影响到试图联系我的人，而不是这是否会给我带来不便。这让我觉得完全不合理，因为我们拥有手机的原因是为了我们自己的方便，而不是为了他人的方便。哀悼/前行。除了通知焦虑和同理心丧失，我们似乎也忘记了如何前行和哀悼。弗洛伊德曾写过一篇论文，详细阐述了哀悼（mourning）和忧郁（melancholy）的区别——哀悼时，我们能够放手；而忧郁则是我们执着不放的强迫性抑郁状态。以前，网络个人资料不存在，它们改变了我们经历的哀悼和悲伤过程。过去我们失去一个人，他们就走了；现在我们可以通过他们完整的网络人设来留住一段记忆。这对我们的哀悼过程有多好？即使在从一段关系中走出来时，我们也能访问前任的个人资料，现在我们常常难以放手，我们无法与过去彻底了断，因为 clinging to it is very easy。这是否实际上通过不前行而阻碍了我们自身的成长？我们应该意识到这些行为，以便监控其影响。未来的考量。综合以上所有因素，思考我们日常互动的网站是如何被构建的，这一点非常重要。我们如何从想象和心理社会两个层面来构建一种体验？Facebook吸引着我们的自我，我们能在此基础上做些什么？接下来会发生什么？技术会与我们的内在心理联系得更紧密吗？什么时候这会被视为太过分的一步？谁负责考虑开发操控性技术的伦理问题？这些平台数量的增长对后代的心智社会发展意味着什么？我们会失去同理心和人际关系技巧吗？在2-4岁之间，我们的心理发展受影响最大，这个年龄段的父母越来越多地把iPad和其他技术设备交给孩子让他们保持忙碌，我们真的应该开始考虑当这些孩子长大后，这会产生什么影响。我们与技术的关系应该像我们与麦当劳的关系一样，我们知道它在那里，我们也有点喜欢它，但我们知道适可而止。我们只是偶尔光顾。对于技术来说，这更具挑战性，因为去麦当劳我们得自己去，而技术则一直待在我们的口袋里等着我们。我们需要考虑如何开发能够“增强”我们生活而非“吞噬”我们生活的技术。一个快速实验。如果你想快速简单地了解你在社交应用上花了多少时间，可以试试这个iPhone电池实验（我相信在安卓设备上也能做类似的操作）。进入iPhone的“设置”，然后进入“电池”，如果你点击那个小小的时钟图标并选择时间段，你就能看到你使用该应用的小时和分钟数。当我发现自己活跃在WhatsApp上3.7小时，在Facebook上1.4小时时，我感到相当震惊。
文章概要
本文基于亚伦·巴利克博士关于“社交媒体心理动力学”的演讲，探讨了社交媒体对个人心理的深远影响。文章指出，不同的社交平台会激发人们不同的“自我状态”：LinkedIn对应“超我”，Facebook对应“自我”，而匿名环境则对应“本我”。这种在线“策展”行为源于我们对认可和验证的深层需求，即对“点赞”的喜爱。然而，过度认同网络人设、同理心下降（物化他人）、通知焦虑以及对过去无法释怀等问题，正成为社交媒体时代的心理挑战。文章呼吁我们建立与技术的主动关系，发展能够增强而非吞噬我们生活的科技，并对未来技术如何影响后代的心理发展提出了深刻的思考。
高德明老师的评价
TA沟通分析评价：这篇文章非常精彩地将TA沟通分析中的自我状态（尽管使用了弗洛伊德的术语）与现代社交媒体平台对应起来，为我们理解自身的在线行为提供了一个清晰的“成人自我”视角。这种觉察本身就是一种力量，它让我们看到，我们在不同平台上的沟通模式是如何被不同“自我”所驱动的。这启发我们未来可以更有意识地选择用哪个“自我”去进行互动，从而创造更和谐的在线人际关系。
焦点解决心理学评价：文章极具价值地引导读者思考一个更理想的未来——一个我们能主动驾驭技术，让其“增强”而非“吞噬”生活的未来。文末提出的“快速实验”是一个非常棒的小步骤，它帮助人们观察现状，从而发现自己期望的改变是什么。这种对“我们想要什么”的关注，正是焦点解决模式的核心，它开启了通往与技术建立更健康、更具建设性关系的大门。
佛学专家角色评价：本文深刻地揭示了现代技术如何成为“我执”与“贪爱”的新道场。对“点赞”的渴望，本质上是对外界认可的“贪”，而精心构建的“网络人设”则是对一个虚幻“我”的执着。文章提到的同理心减弱与无法释怀，与佛法中的“无缘大慈、同体大悲”及“放下”的智慧形成了鲜明对比。这篇文章的洞见，赞美了人们开始觉察这些数字时代的“苦”，并为我们如何在科技生活中修行“正念”与“出离心”带来了宝贵的启发。