英文原文
I am currently preparing to work on a client project that uses transaction analysis (TA). My client uses it as a practical tool to help their people engage better. I am not new to TA, but it has been a while since I have used it in as much depth as my client does. As I re-immersed myself in TA, I realised what a useful tool it is and one that we all could benefit from.
Transactional analysis is a psychoanalytical theory developed by Eric Berne in the 1950s. Transactions refer to the communication exchanges between people. It is an intellectual tool that helps us understand the basis of behaviour or feeling in communication and allows us to examine it and choose the way we want to respond. The communication typically consists of a stimulus by one person (the sender) and a response by another (the receiver). This in turn becomes a new stimulus for the sender to respond to.
TA recognised that the human personality is made up of three ego states: the parent, the adult, and the child. Each of which is an entire and consistent system of thought, feeling, and behaviour from which we interact with each other. The Parent, Adult, and Child ego states and the interaction between them form the foundation of transactional analysis theory.
The three states exist in all of us. They are recordings in the brain of actual experiences of internal and external events – with the first five years of life signifying the most important years.
The Parent
This is everything we learned from our parents in our first five years of life. It is the thoughts, feelings, and behaviours we ‘borrowed’ from our parents or caregivers. Some of the ‘how tos’ that we practice today form our parent data.
The parent ego state can be further divided into 2 functions: the nurturing parent and critical parent. The nurturing is soft, loving and permission-giving. Whilst the critical parent holds our dos and don’ts. The rules for living, feeling, behaving, and believing from our parents.
As you can imagine, some of the messages we hold in the parent ego state can be helpful whilst other messages not. (Note: you don’t have to be a parent to use the parent ego state)
The Child
If the parent ego state is represented by the recordings of data of external events, there is another set of recordings happening simultaneously. This is the internal events, the responses of the child to what we hear and see. In early life, the child has no vocabulary, most of their reactions are feelings. So, when a person is in a grip of feelings, the child ego state takes over.
All our thoughts and emotions from our childhood days form our present-day memories and experiences. Our childlike ways can appear later in life. Bringing the same childhood feelings today that we felt back then.
The child ego state can be divided into 2 parts: the free child and adapted child. The free child experiences the world spontaneously and directly. The adapted child is part of our personality that has learned to comply with our parental messages we received growing up.
The Adult
The adult ego state is our data processing centre. It is the part of our personality that can process data accurately using our senses and thinking. Problem-solving is based on the facts and not solely on preconceived thoughts and ideas or childlike emotions.
The adult ego state data is accumulated from the child’s ability to discern the difference between the taught (parent), felt (child) concepts of life. The adult concept develops through thought based on data gathered and processed.
The principal role of the adult ego state consists of validating or invalidating old data, discerning new data, and refiling it for future use.
A basic parent-child transaction
So, how do we know which ego state we are using in our transactions?
There are several ways to tell which ego state we or someone else is using. Usually through the tone of voice, choice of words, emotional state, or way of being, body posture, and gestures.
If soft and soothing, the sender is probably in a nurturing parent ego state. If the tone is harsh, disapproving or threatening, then the sender is probably in a critical parent ego state. An even, controlled and clear tone of voice usually implies the adult ego state. A free child tends to have an emotion-laden tone of voice. And the adapted child may either whine or conform, behaving as what is expected of them.
Similarly, gestures, choice of words, body posture can signify which state we are using. The Parent typically warns or wags their finger with stern facial expressions – seeking to be understood. The Adult has more thoughtful expressions, often nods their head in agreement with contemplative facial expressions – seeking to understand. The child is more expressive both physically and emotionally. Typically, one of excitement with more noticeable gestures – seeking.
I will stop here this week. Next week I shall continue with analysing transactions and where dissonance can occur and how to navigate it. Until then, I invite you to analyse your daily transactions to discern your ego states.
Is there an ego state that you use more?
As always, you can reach me at yoga@yoganesadurai.com
中文翻译
我目前正在准备一个使用沟通分析（TA）的客户项目。我的客户将其作为实用工具，帮助员工更好地参与。我对TA并不陌生，但已经有一段时间没有像客户那样深入使用它了。当我重新沉浸于TA时，我意识到这是一个多么有用的工具，我们所有人都能从中受益。
沟通分析是埃里克·伯恩在20世纪50年代发展的一种精神分析理论。交易指的是人与人之间的沟通交流。它是一个智力工具，帮助我们理解沟通中行为或感受的基础，并允许我们检查它并选择我们想要回应的方式。沟通通常由一个人（发送者）的刺激和另一个人（接收者）的回应组成。这反过来又成为发送者回应的新刺激。
TA认识到人类人格由三种自我状态组成：父母、成人和儿童。每一种都是一个完整且一致的思想、感受和行为系统，我们通过它们相互互动。父母、成人和儿童自我状态以及它们之间的互动构成了沟通分析理论的基础。
这三种状态存在于我们所有人中。它们是我们大脑中实际经历的内外部事件的记录——生命的前五年是最重要的年份。
父母自我状态
这是我们在生命前五年从父母那里学到的一切。它是我们从父母或照顾者那里“借用”的思想、感受和行为。我们今天实践的一些“如何做”形成了我们的父母数据。
父母自我状态可以进一步分为两种功能：养育型父母和批判型父母。养育型是温柔、充满爱意和给予许可的。而批判型父母则持有我们的“应该”和“不应该”。来自父母的生活、感受、行为和信仰的规则。
正如你可以想象的，我们在父母自我状态中持有的一些信息可能是有帮助的，而其他信息则不是。（注意：你不必是父母才能使用父母自我状态）
儿童自我状态
如果父母自我状态由外部事件数据的记录代表，那么还有另一组记录同时发生。这是内部事件，儿童对我们听到和看到的事物的回应。在早期生活中，儿童没有词汇，他们的大部分反应是感受。因此，当一个人被感受控制时，儿童自我状态就会接管。
我们童年时期的所有思想和情感形成了我们现在的记忆和经历。我们孩子气的方式可能在以后的生活中出现。将我们当时感受到的相同童年感受带到今天。
儿童自我状态可以分为两部分：自由儿童和适应儿童。自由儿童自发而直接地体验世界。适应儿童是我们人格的一部分，它学会了遵守我们成长过程中收到的父母信息。
成人自我状态
成人自我状态是我们的数据处理中心。它是我们人格的一部分，可以使用我们的感官和思维准确处理数据。解决问题基于事实，而不仅仅是基于先入为主的思想和想法或孩子气的情绪。
成人自我状态的数据积累自儿童区分被教导的（父母）和感受的（儿童）生活概念的能力。成人概念通过基于收集和处理数据的思考发展。
成人自我状态的主要角色包括验证或无效化旧数据、辨别新数据，并重新归档以供未来使用。
一个基本的父母-儿童交易
那么，我们如何知道我们在交易中使用哪种自我状态？
有几种方法可以判断我们或他人正在使用哪种自我状态。通常通过语调、用词选择、情绪状态、行为方式、身体姿势和手势。
如果语调柔和舒缓，发送者可能处于养育型父母自我状态。如果语调严厉、不赞成或威胁，那么发送者可能处于批判型父母自我状态。平稳、控制和清晰的语调通常暗示成人自我状态。自由儿童往往带有情绪化的语调。而适应儿童可能要么抱怨要么顺从，按照期望行事。
同样，手势、用词选择、身体姿势可以表明我们正在使用哪种状态。父母通常警告或摇动手指，表情严肃——寻求被理解。成人有更多深思熟虑的表情，经常点头同意，表情沉思——寻求理解。儿童在身体和情感上更富有表现力。通常，兴奋时会有更明显的手势——寻求。
本周我将在这里停止。下周我将继续分析交易以及不和谐可能发生的地方以及如何应对。在那之前，我邀请你分析你的日常交易，以辨别你的自我状态。
你更常使用哪种自我状态？
一如既往，你可以通过yoga@yoganesadurai.com联系我。
文章概要
本文基于沟通分析心理学理论，探讨了成人自我状态与父母自我状态在育儿中的差异。文章介绍了TA理论的核心概念，包括三种自我状态（父母、成人、儿童）的定义和功能，特别强调了父母自我状态分为养育型和批判型，以及成人自我状态作为数据处理中心的作用。通过分析交易中的语调、用词和手势，文章说明了如何识别不同自我状态，并指出在育儿中，成人自我状态能基于事实解决问题，而父母自我状态可能传递来自童年经验的规则。文章鼓励读者反思日常沟通，以优化自我状态的使用。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容
这篇文章讲的是我们每个人心里都有三个“小我”：一个是像爸爸妈妈那样教我们规则的“父母我”，一个是像小孩子那样凭感觉做事的“儿童我”，还有一个是像大人那样冷静思考的“成人我”。在育儿时，“父母我”可能会用温柔或严厉的方式教孩子，而“成人我”则会用事实来帮孩子解决问题。我们可以通过说话的语气和动作来猜出别人在用哪个“小我”。
TA沟通分析心理学理论评价
从沟通分析心理学理论来看，这篇文章精准地阐述了自我状态模型，特别是成人自我状态与父母自我状态在育儿情境中的对比。文章强调了成人自我状态作为理性处理中心的重要性，这符合TA理论中促进自主性和有效沟通的核心目标。通过区分养育型和批判型父母自我状态，文章展示了如何识别和调整沟通模式，以减少脚本行为并增强适应性。这种分析有助于理解育儿中如何平衡情感支持与规则设定，体现了TA理论在提升人际互动质量方面的实用价值。
在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题
在实践上，沟通分析心理学可以应用于多个领域，如家庭教育、职场沟通、心理咨询和教育培训。基于本文内容，它可以解决人们的十个问题：1. 帮助父母在育儿中减少情绪化反应，使用成人自我状态进行理性引导；2. 改善夫妻沟通，避免批判型父母自我状态引发的冲突；3. 提升团队协作效率，通过识别自我状态促进理解；4. 增强个人自我觉察，减少童年脚本对决策的影响；5. 支持儿童情绪管理，培养自由儿童与适应儿童的平衡；6. 优化教育方法，教师使用养育型父母自我状态鼓励学生；7. 缓解亲子关系紧张，通过成人自我状态处理分歧；8. 促进心理健康，识别并调整不健康的自我状态模式；9. 提升领导力，管理者运用成人自我状态做出客观决策；10. 增强社交技能，在交往中灵活切换自我状态以建立和谐关系。